


Daffodil Summer

by keyhun



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-11 23:11:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9039995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keyhun/pseuds/keyhun
Summary: Yoochun was born and raised in the U.S. and had never traveled outside of it. That changes when he graduates high school and he goes on a trip with his mom to Korea where he meets family, friends, and the boy-next-door named Shim Changmin.





	1. CHAPTER ONE

The bell rang, signaling the end of the last day of school at Fairfax High School and the beginning of summer vacation. Kids poured out of the building and the campus buzzed with chatter. The air was thick with humidity and excitement for the upcoming summer break. Yoochun found his way through the crowd, waving goodbye to his friends. Yoochun was officially done with high school, and, as he glanced up at the blue sky dotted with clouds all around him, he realized he couldn’t be happier that weight was now off his shoulders. In the fall, he would start college. A new adventure awaited him.

“Hey Micky, wanna hang out? Me and Dylan are going to the skate park later,” asked Yoochun’s friend and (now former) classmate, Chandler.

Yoochun snapped out of his reverie to answer. “Man, I’d love to but I have to go straight home today.”

Chandler nodded in understanding, his dirty blonde hair swishing over a tanned brow. “Aw, that’s too bad. Well, see you tomorrow then,” he said with a wave, and then stepped on his skateboard and rolled away. 

Yoochun watched him for a moment, listening to the whirring of the skateboard’s wheels against the pavement, and then plugged his earbuds in and began the short walk back to his house. He hummed along to The Temptations as they sang to his soul all the way home.

 

 

 

“Mom, I’m back,” Yoochun called, taking off his shoes at the entrance. 

“Hey sweetie.” His mother responded from the couch in the living area. She always spoke Korean with Yoochun. Yoochun didn’t mind, though he responded in English most of the time. 

“So, I have good news!”

Yoochun raised an eyebrow as he set down his bag. “What is it, mom?”

“We’re going to Korea this summer! You and I are going to go see your grandparents and cousins and aunts and uncles and my old friends!”

“O-oh, that’s um, great! Uh. Yeah. Awesome.”

His mom smiled sympathetically. “I’m sorry, I know there might have been other things you wanted to do this summer. But I think we’ll have a really good time together.”

Yoochun smiled. He didn’t get to spend much time with his mom because of school and just being a typical American teenager with friends (and the occasional secret skateboarding competition). He felt bad about it, especially since she didn’t have a husband to spend time with anymore. Yoochun had gotten over his parents’ divorce (or so he liked to think) but he had a creeping guilt that his mom was lonelier now because of it. 

He put on his bravest face. “I think so too, mom—or, uh, umma.” He grinned, and his mom laughed. 

“That’s right, you’re going to have to practice speaking Korean more now.” 

Hearing his mother’s laugh made Yoochun happy. He’d try his best for her.

“Um, what about Ricky though?” Yoochun asked. A trip to another country would be okay as long as he had his younger brother by his side.

At that, his mom’s face fell. “Sweetie, Yoohwan can’t come with us.”

“Why not?”

“He got accepted into a very prestigious summer volunteering program at the hospital near downtown. He’s going to stay with your father while he participates in the program this summer.”

“He’s _what?_ He’s going to stay with _him?_ ”

“Yoochun-ah…”

“No. That’s not okay.” Yoochun could feel his voice rising, could sense the blood rushing into his face, reddening his cheeks with the heat of anger. “Dad is crazy, if Yoohwan’s staying with him I’ll stay with him, too. I can’t let him do that alone.”

At that point Yoohwan came out of his bedroom. He made his way to Yoochun and looked between his brother and their mom. 

“Hyung,” he said, and Yoochun already felt his anger beginning to dissipate. There was only one Korean word their mother insisted on them using in the household, and that was for Yoohwan to properly address Yoochun as his older brother. “Hyung, I’ll be fine. I promise. You should go and have fun.”

Yoochun looked at him in disbelief and felt his heart clench. “How can you say that? What if he yells at you all the time? What if he makes you sad?”

The younger brother smiled and shook his head. “Idiot. It’s just three months. I’ll hardly be home anyways. The volunteers get three meals a day because the shift is so long. I’ll pretty much only be home to sleep.”

“Then why don’t you just stay here by yourself?!” Yoochun cried, exasperated.

“Mom thinks I’ll invite girls over and get them pregnant.”

They both looked at their mom pointedly. “I don’t think that specifically! It’s just not appropriate for a teenage boy to be by himself for so long, okay?”

Yoochun sighed. “Will you really be okay, Rick?”

“I really will be.”

“I already bought our plane tickets…” their mom said softly.

Yoochun closed his eyes and scrambled to gather his emotions. “Alright. Fine. But you,” he looked his brother in the eye, “if anything happens, even if it’s minor—if he says weird shit or he’s being mean to you or he makes you feel like crap and you need to talk, _call me_ , okay?”

“You got it, hyung.”

 

 

 

 

 

Yoochun packed light. One suitcase to check in and a backpack to take on the plane. He’d had a hard time packing for this trip because he’d never traveled abroad before. At one point his brother caught him packing his desklamp for nightreading and laughed at him until Yoochun put it back, embarrassed.

The day after Yoochun’s graduation ceremony, he and his mother got a ride to the airport from a kind neighbor. After checking in their luggage, printing their boarding passes, trudging through security, and walking the long distance to their gate, all that was left to do was wait. Yoochun wanted to pass the time by listening to music, but decided against it to save battery on his devices for the actual flight. Instead, he read the one book he had brought with him, but his excitement was so overwhelming that he couldn’t even concentrate long enough to get through a single page.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, the airline employee announced that it was time to board over a staticy intercom. Yoochun seized his backpack and stood in line patiently with his mother. The line moved swiftly, and before he knew it the airline employee was scanning his boarding pass and sending him onto the plane. 

It was a huge Boeing 747 aircraft. Air hosts and hostesses greeted him as he stepped in and made his way down the aisle, looking down at his boarding pass and back up at the seat number markings alternatively. Finally, when he located his row, he stashed his mother’s carry-on in the overhead compartment, then sat down. Thankfully, he had a window seat. It was going to be a long flight, so he was glad for the view, especially since this airline really skimped on legroom and didn’t have a great selection of films to watch. Just before takeoff, he texted his brother. 

_About to take off. Turning off my phone. Miss u already rickster. Be safe and remember to call me :-)_

Yoochun wasn’t really huge on going to church and all that, but he figured now was a good time to ask God for protection and safe travel, so he did. Then he plugged in his earbuds, leaned back in his economy class blue fabric seat. 

He drifted in and out of sleep throughout the flight. Movies and music could only keep him awake for so long before his body caved in to its need for rest, though the cramped space didn’t allow him to sleep for too long at once. More than once he lifted the window shade and looked out. 

Oceans and twinkling cities sprawled beneath him, and he gazed in wonder at the wide world. There was still so much for him to discover. Excitement thrummed in his veins as he stared at the dimming periwinkle-pink sky, imagining just what this summer might have in store for him.

 

 

 

At Incheon airport, Yoochun followed his mom closely as he looked around, trying to make sense of his surroundings. He’d never been outside America before, and his area in Virginia was fairly diverse. It was no New York City or Houston, but there were some black kids, some Asian kids, some Latino kids and so on in his classes and around his neighborhood. He’d really never seen such a huge crowd of people all with the same jet-black hair color, the same Korean features. It would take getting used to.

“Sis!” his mother called out, her voice ringing with happiness.

“Ah! My little sister has returned,” came the voice of a lady who Yoochun knew to be his aunt, Mina. “And there he is, Mr. Park Yoochun. Oh my, what a handsome boy you’ve become. Your mother hasn’t sent me photos in _ages_ so I had no idea you’d grown up to be this dashing.” 

Yoochun managed a sheepish smile, a bow, and a heavily accented greeting. His aunt laughed kindly. “Jaejoong-ah! Come take your cousin’s bags.”

Oh. That name sounded familiar. Jaejoong was one of his many cousins that Yoochun had never met, just talked to a few times awkwardly over the phone on a poor quality international call. 

“Um, hi. I’m Yoochun. Nice to finally meet you in person, Jaejoong.”

Jaejoong smiled. He was good-looking in the way American boys never were—he was pretty where boys in America were ruggedly handsome. Yoochun could tell that Jaejoong applied light makeup and took care of his hair, skin, and clothing. Yoochun suddenly felt very frumpy in his baggy jeans and holey t-shirt. 

“Hi there, nice to meet you too.” Jaejoong smiled. “Looks like we were born in the same year, so you don’t have to call me hyung or anything.”

Oh yeah, honorifics. Yoochun had almost about those. “Oh man,” he groaned as Jaejoong took his suitcase.

“What’s up?”

Yoochun began explaining that his Korean sucked, and frankly, he had no idea how he wassupposed to act around elders and stuff since he didn’t have any Korean friends or family in the States.

By the time they were getting into the huge family van to go to Yoochun’s aunt’s house, Jaejoong had an arm slung around Yoochun’s shoulders. “Don’t worry, Yoochun-ah. Hyung’s going to take good care of you.” Yoochun, though still shocked by his surroundings, found it easy to laugh and relax into his cousin’s embrace. 

 

 

 

It turned out that Jaejoong and Yoochun were perfect for each other. They became fast friends despite the slight language barrier. Jaejoong just laughed at Yoochun’s accent and helped him fill in the words he didn’t know in a way that didn’t make Yoochun feel too stupid. Once they got past the communication issue, the two cousins had a million and one things in common like music, video games, and a secret hobby of song-writing, despite being brought up in totally different countries. 

Jaejoong’s room was nice. He had a tall bookshelf that had more CD’s and casette tapes than it did actual books, which Yoochun related to and approved of whole-heartedly. The desk looked “neat” in that tried-to-clean-quickly-before-the-relatives-got-here kind of way. Yoochun felt right at home.

“So, you’re going to be here the whole summer, huh?”

“Yeah, seems so. Sorry man, I hope I’m not bothering you. I don’t know how I’d feel if I had to share my room with someone else for my whole break.”

Jaejoong shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. At least you’re a guy. Probably won’t be as bad as sharing a room with one of my sisters.”

“Haha, I guess so.” Yoochun leaned back against the wall and turned over a CD in his hands. “So, do you have a girlfriend?”

Jaejoong grinned. Now they were getting to the good stuff. “No. Had one, didn’t really…enjoy it.”

Yoochun’s eyebrows pulled together in confusion. 

“What about you?”

“Nothing serious. I’ve gone on dates with a few girls. Sometimes several dates with the same girl. But uh, yeah, no actual relationships.”

“Boyfriend?”

Yoochun felt heat creep up his cheeks. “Uh, no.”

Jaejoong laughed. “I think we’re going to get close this summer. I’m looking forward to it.”

 

 

 

Yoochun found a corner in Jaejoong’s closet for his suitcase and a hook on the wall over his roll-out bed for his backpack. After his long, exhausting travel, Yoochun wanted nothing more than a hot shower. But first, he sent a text to Yoohwan.

_I miss you D: my Korean sucks and I feel like an idiot. Come to meeee_

The reply came quickly.

_Hyung, you’re smart, you’ll pick it up really fast. I miss you too!_

Smiling, he grabbed a towel and a pair of sleeping clothes from his suitcase and headed toward the bathroom.

He knocked on the door and one of his cousins yelled back angrily: “I’m not done yet!” 

“S-sorry!” he stammered.

Eventually, Eunha came out of the bathroom and when she saw it was Yoochun, the guest, and not one of her siblings she apologized profusely. “Oh gosh, sorry I yelled! I didn’t mean to. Um, here, lemme show you how to use the shower.”

Yoochun smiled and nodded politely and struggled desperately to understand what she was saying, but it was rather difficult because she didn’t speak calmly like Jaejoong or his mother; instead she had some kind of teenage girl dialect affecting all her words and intonations. Yoochun tried to pay close attention as she explained how to adjust the water’s temperature and how to turn the shower head on and off.

“You got it?”

“Uh—yeah! Thank you!”

She smiled. “No problem.”

Eunha left the bathroom and Yoochun sighed in relief. He set down his clothes on the counter and stared at the shower head, scowling at it as though it were offending him by being so complicated.

Eventually, he got it, and it was the sweetest relief. He closed his eyes and allowed the hot water scald off all the grossness that comes with traveling on a closed cabin for fourteen hours and relax him. Without meaning to, he let the sound of rushing water to take him back to the times he’d borrowed his mom’s car on the weekend and drive down to the beach. Sometimes with his brother, but mostly by himself. He’d get up early Saturday morning and drive two and a half hours to see the ocean. He’d go there and just sit by the water, watching it. It was strange—he’d only been in Korea for a few hours and yet he already missed home.

He finished washing up, put on his sleeping clothes and headed to the kitchen in hopes of finding his mom and quietly telling her a quick ‘good night’ so as to not disturb anyone else in case they were already in bed. But what he found was her, along with his aunt, uncle, grandparents, and all 9 cousins spread around the dining and living areas, eating a huge dinner and passing around bowls for dessert. 

“Yoochun-ah!” called all his relatives at once. He blinked. 

“You must be so tired after your travel. Good thing you already bathed. Here, come and eat and then go to sleep!” said his aunt.

“Yoochun, first come greet your grandparents,” said his mom. 

He walked up to them and bowed politely and said hello. They laughed and pulled him in for a gruff hug. It warmed his heart. He felt welcomed. 

“Poor boy, you must be so exhausted. Don’t sleep on an empty stomach though! You won’t sleep well. Here, take this,” said his grandfather, already building a plate of mountains of rice, grilled vegetables, grilled beef and various sides for him.

“Ey, what are you doing! He’s not going to be able to stomach all that right now; he just came from America! Just give him rice,” his grandmother snapped. They seemed to be the typical old married couple.

Yoochun chuckled. “Thank you. I’ll eat well.”

“Your Korean’s so good,” his aunt praised. Yoochun bit back a laugh. He’d only said a few words and they were already flattering him. It made him feel really good.

He made his way over to the living area where all his cousins were on the couches, floor, or seated around the center table, eating and talking. 

“Oh, Yoochun-ah! We’re going to play card games after dinner, maybe watch a movie. Wanna join us?”

From the dining table, his aunt yelled: “HEY! The boy’s just traveled halfway across the world, let him rest!”

Yoochun laughed out loud. “It’s okay Auntie, I think I can stay up for one game.”

“Yesss!” echoed several of his cousins. Yoochun smiled. This summer was going to be great.

 

 

 

The next day, Yoochun woke up at two in the afternoon. Jetlag was going to be a problem for a while. He quickly changed and brushed his teeth and then found Jaejoong playing video games in the living room.

“Hey, you’re up!”

“Yeah, finally. Sorry.”

“No need to apologize. Wanna do anything today?”

“Sure, like what?”

Jaejoong grinned. “There’s a lot of things you need to eat while you’re here. Number one summertime treat: patbingsu.”

Yoochun tilted his head to one side in question. “Never heard of it. What’s that?”

Jaejoong clutched his chest and fell to the ground dramatically. “It’s heaven, that’s what it is! Sweet, icy, heaven.”

Yoochun laughed loudly at his cousin’s antics. “Alright, alright! Sounds good.”

“Great, lemme get ready.”

When Jaejoong went into his room to change, Yoochun went to look for his mom and found her sitting on the balcony with her sister. 

“Mom, Jaejoong and I are going out.”

“Oh wow, already? Alright, have fun. Be safe, sweetie.”

Jaejoong came in and grabbed his arm. “Let’s go!”

“Jaejoong, take Changmin with you two,” said Yoochun’s aunt.

“Huh? Why?” 

Mina frowned. “He’s your friend, too, right? You shouldn’t abandon your friends just because you’re on break!”

“Mom…he lives next door. I can literally see him any time.” Jaejoong sounded more genuinely confused than he did annoyed.

“Then that’s even less of an excuse to not meet up with him!”

“Alright alright, I’ll ask if he wants to come!” Jaejoong said. “Come on Yoochun, let’s go. You have money, right?”

“Oh, yeah, I exchanged some at the airport. Should last me the first few weeks.”

After they left, Yoochun’s mom turned back to her sister. “What was that about?”

Mina sighed. “Oh, Inju…what can I say? Shim Changmin is the oldest son of the family next door. He’s a wonderful kid, really. And he’s been having a hard time since his father fell ill. I just thought it’d be good to look out for him, you know, make sure he still has a chance to go out and do things kids his age should do.”

Inju smiled sympathetically. “That’s nice of you to look out for your neighbor. Hopefully he and Yoochun can get along, too. I’d like for him to make some Korean friends while he’s here.”

Mina nodded. “Yes, he should. In fact, he should make so many that he never wants to go back and I can keep him and you here with me forever.”

They laughed together, happy to be in each other’s company again after so many years of being oceans apart.

 

 

 

“So, who’s this Changmin kid?”

Jaejoong and Yoochun walked side by side, heading to the neighboring house. “He lives next door to us, goes to my school. He’s two years younger than me.”

“Oh, so a year and a half younger than me. About my brother’s age.”

“Sucks your brother couldn’t come, they could’ve become friends. Are you guys close?”

Yoochun grinned as they stepped up to the door to Changmin’s house. “Yeah, we’re really close. I miss him.”

Jaejoong returned the smile and rang the bell. A girl, Changmin’s sister, answered.

“Oh, hi Jaejoong-oppa. What’s up?”

“Hey Sooyeon. Is Changmin home?”

“Yeah, let me get him, hang on.” Jaejoong motioned at Yoochun to cover his ears. Before he could comprehend and follow the warning, Sooyeon yelled into the house: “HEY! JAEJOONG IS HERE!”

“I thought you said you’d go get him!” Yoochun grumbled, rubbing his ear. Jaejoong shook his head, letting Yoochun know that this happened often.

Then Changmin came into view. He was tall. Really tall. _I didn’t know Koreans could be this tall,_ Yoochun thought to himself. _Wait, dammit, that’s racist. Wait, can I be racist to my own race?_

“Oh, hi Jaejoong-hyung. What’s up?” Changmin smiled, then glanced at Yoochun. “Um, hi, I’m Changmin. Hyung, who’s he?”

“He’s my cousin from the states, Yoochun. He’s your hyung, too.”

“Oh, no, it’s okay, you don’t have to call me hyung if you don’t want to,” Yoochun responded sheepishly, still not used to the hierarchy of ages here.

Changmin raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? Cool. Nice to meet you, Yoochun.”

“I’m showing Yoochun around today. We’re going to get patbingsu. Wanna come with?”

Changmin’s eyebrows drew together. He glanced back into the house and then bit his lip. “Uh, I’m not sure…”

“Oh, come on now. It’s already been a week of break and you haven’t gone out at all. Go ahead, I’ll stay in today,” said Sooyeon, who’d been lingering at the doorway.

Changmin frowned. “Are you sure?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’m sure.”

“Okay then…uh, let me get ready really fast,” Changmin said, and raced upstairs to change his clothes.

Sooyeon went back into the house, leaving Jaejoong and Yoochun lingering at the door.

“Are you two friends?” Yoochun asked.

Jaejoong shrugged. “Yeah I guess. He’s nice, I like him, but he’s kind of shy and I’m kind of…out there so we usually don’t have too much in common. I sometimes dote on him, but since he’s the oldest in his family he’s not really used to that, haha.”

Yoochun nodded. A few minutes passed and Changmin came back down in day clothes. 

“Let’s go!” 

 

 

 

Yoochun, Jaejoong, and Changmin walked ten minutes to the nearest subway station. It was wicked hot out. Yoochun was only wearing a light t-shirt but he could feel sweat forming at his brow as the sun beat down on him. Jaejoong had probably applied some sort of sunscreen skin product before they left the house, and Changmin was wearing a cap. Yoochun would have to remember to do one of those things before he left the house next time or else his mom would probably get mad at him for letting himself get sunburnt. 

When they got to the subway Jaejoong helped Yoochun purchase a transportation card. They went up to the guy at the window and Yoochun asked for “one transportation card, please” in his halting Korean. The guy’s lips quirked in a half-smile at Yoochun’s accent and accepted his money for the transportation pass. 

_First real life interaction using Korean, down. That wasn’t so bad,_ Yoochun thought. 

The three boys hopped on the subway, just making it in before the doors shut with a _swish_ behind them, and rushed into the few open seats. Jaejoong kept asking questions about life in America, and Yoochun didn’t mind answering. He liked that Jaejoong was trying to get to know him, and he felt good that he could provide information to someone without that knowledge.

Changmin glanced at the subway map. “Hyung, why are we taking the subway just to go for shaved ice? Couldn’t we have gone somewhere closer, like, just taken the bus a few stops down?”

“Yeah, but I wanted to take Yoochun to a cool place.”

“Oh, I see. Yoochun, do you like it here so far?”

Yoochun blinked. The kid sounded so mature for some reason. Definitely older than himself or Jaejoong. “Yeah, I do. Everyone’s been so nice. I feel really welcomed. I miss my brother but when I’m at Jaejoong’s house it’s like I have 9 more siblings to make up for it.”

Changmin smiled. “That’s good. I hope you enjoy your time here.”

“Thanks.”

“Our stop’s here,” Jaejoong said, pulling on Yoochun’s sleeve. “Let’s go!”

 

 

 

“I love patbingsu,” Yoochun said. His lips had turned pink from the icy treat covered in mangos, strawberries and drizzled with condensed milk, and his eyes were wide with the revelation of sweet delight.

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” Jaejoong said, grinning from ear to ear. Yoochun must have looked pretty stupid with his eyes bulging and mouth hanging open because even Changmin was laughing at him, his gums exposed and eyes mismatched.

“It’s so good. Can I have another one?”

“Yeah dude, of course.”

Yoochun ordered another, this time with lychees on the side and more condensed milk poured over the top.

“You really like sweets, huh?” Changmin giggled.

“Mhm,” Yoochun managed with his mouthful of ice. Then he seemed to remember he was with company, and held out the next spoonful for Jaejoong. 

“Want some more?”

“Sure, thanks,” Jaejoong said, closing his mouth around the spoon.

“And, uh, Changmin too?” Yoochun asked just to be polite, even though it was kind probably kind of weird for him to spoon-feed a kid he’d just met today.

“Oh, um, no it’s okay, I’ve had enough. You eat.”

Yoochun nodded and put the spoonful of shaved ice, chilled lychee, and sweet condensed milk in his own mouth. From the corner of his eye, he thought he saw Changmin take another glance at his lips as they closed around the spoon.

 

 

 

They walked around the area, glancing into shops and enjoying being in a place where the atmosphere was so lively. They talked as they walked, about anything and everything. About their favorite singers, foods, living in the states and how it was different from Korea. Changmin was slowly engaging more in the conversation, asking questions and responding and offering his own opinions. It was nice. Yoochun felt really happy. He never thought he’d be able to feel so comfortable during just his first few day in another country. 

Of course, his Korean still sucked. He’d often have to use the English word, which Changmin would usually be able to pick up (and Jaejoong usually would not) and then Changmin would try to translate. It was frustrating and tiring and the other two laughing at Yoochun took some getting used to, but it was a small price to pay for the excellent company.

After an hour or so, the three walked into a coffee shop and ordered drinks. Jaejoong was just about to sit down when someone called him from behind. 

“Jaejoong!”

He turned around. “Junsu! Hey, what are you doing here?”

Junsu made his way over to their table. “I was actually about to meet Yunho. We were going to go to a movie with some of the people in our class. Um, but, who are your friends.”

“Oh yeah, this is Changmin. He goes to our school.”

“That’s right, I’ve seen you around. But for some reason I never met you…?”

“I’m in the grade below you, that’s why.”

“And this is Yoochun, my cousin. He’s from the states.”

“Oh, cool! Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

“Hey,” Junsu said, “you guys should join us for the movie tonight. If you want to.”

Jaejoong looked to Yoochun. “Do you want to? We can call and ask our parents if it’s okay to stay out a bit later.”

Yoochun bit his lip and looked toward Changmin who already looked like he was going to say no. 

“You know, that’s really nice of you to invite me but I just got here yesterday. I wanted to spend some time with my cousins and grandparents. But I’ll be here all summer, so many next time, yeah?”

Junsu nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, I totally understand! Next time, then.”

Their buzzer rang. Jaejoong went to go get the drinks and a guy, Yunho, walked in through the door. Junsu waved him over and introduced him to Yoochun. 

“Nice to meet you, Yoochun,” Yunho said with a thousand-watt smile. “Sorry, by the way, is my accent hard to understand?”

Yoochun tilted his head to one side. “What accent?”

There was a beat of silence, then Changmin, Junsu, and Jaejoong, who’d just come back with their drinks, all burst into laughter.

“Dude,” Jaejoong said, “now I understand the effect of not being around Koreans all your life. You really can’t hear it?”

“No?” Yoochun said, pouting slightly.

“This guy,” Junsu said, pointing at Yunho, “is from the countryside. Gwangju. He just moved here a couple of years ago.”

“Oh.”

“Okay,” Changmin said, trying to speak through his peals of laughter, “our goal by the end of the summer is to make sure Yoochun can tell the difference between a city and country accents.”

Yunho pouted, which was an odd, yet endearing site to see. “You guys are so mean. It’s not even the countryside! It’s a city, you know!”

“We need to educate the ignorant American.” Changmin said, eyes mismatched once more from bubbling laughter.

“I’m on Yunho’s side, you guys are mean,” said Yoochun, but he was laughing too.

After that, Yunho and Junsu left to go meet up with their other friends, and the three sat and drank their coffee.

“How can you drink it black? I thought you like sweet things!” Changmin said.

Yoochun winked. “I’m a man of many contradictions.”

Changmin looked unimpressed. “How do you know the word ‘contradictions’?”

“My mom uses it when she’s yelling about my good looks and horrible dressing.”

“Oh, yeah, about that,” Jaejoong said, tongue swiping out to gather foam from his drink that had gathered on his lips, “if you don’t mind, we should probably go shopping some time while you’re here. I can’t be seen with you if you’re going to dress like that.”

Yoochun supposed he should be offended but instead he found himself laughing so hard his eyes were tearing up. “Yeah, sure, we can shop for clothes.”

“Thank God.”

 

 

 

They took the subway back to the stop closes to their neighborhood, but before they went home they stopped at a convenience store. 

“Let’s get some snacks!” Jaejoong said. “We can eat them if we stay up playing games or whatever.”

Changmin nodded in agreement. He was always in the mood for food.

They ended up buying cup ramyun, chips, jellies, sodas, chocolate-covered candy sticks and a bunch of other stuff. It only ended up being around ten dollars. Yoochun was in heaven. 

Changmin paid for his stuff, juggling two armfuls of various snacks. He looked like a kid then, smiling with excitement for his treats. It was kind of endearing. Yoochun wondered why, except for that moment, Changmin always seemed so adult-ish. He was oddly glad that there were a few moments where the kid could…well, be a kid.

Just as Changmin was finishing paying for his things, Yoochun turned to the cashier again. “Oh, I almost forgot. I’d like a pack of cigarettes, please,” he said, fishing out another few bills from his pocket.

The cashier eyed him. “Which brand?”

“Just give me that one,” he said, pointing.

Then he heard a loud clattering and noticed Changmin, who was staring at him with eyes distant and expressionless. His snacks had been dropped onto the floor.

“Are you okay?” Yoochun asked.

“You smoke?”

“Uh, yeah, sometimes. Why?”

“Why do you smoke?”

Yoochun winced inwardly. “I don’t know, I don’t do it that much. Doesn’t everyone here smoke?”

Changmin looked ready to scream. “Yeah,” he replied, his tone sharp and unforgiving. “Everyone here does. Somehow I thought an American kid would be different.”

Yoochun felt anger swirl in his gut. “Yeah most kids back home don’t but since I’m obviously ill-mannered gutter trash, I do. If you don’t wanna hang out with me because of it then that’s fine, I don’t really give a fuck.” 

The air went still between them. 

“Sir, here’s your cigarettes,” the cashier said. Yoochun grabbed it, stuffed it in one of his bags of snacks and called out to Jaejoong. “Let’s go,” he said, and walked out. 

 

 

 

Yoochun was silent and brooding the whole walk home. Jaejoong didn’t know what to do to make his cousin feel better because he’d only known him for a day. 

The whole family ate dinner together, the cousins played board games together while the grown-ups settled down for tea, and then it was time to go to bed. Yoochun washed up and changed into sleeping clothes, then slipped outside, taking his cigarettes with him.

He’d smoked through half of one stick before he heard the door open and close behind him.

“Hey,” said Jaejoong.

“I hope you’re not about to lecture me.”

“Actually, I was going to ask if I could have one. I just ran out.”

Yoochun raised an eyebrow. “You smoke?”

“Just like you said, everyone here does.”

“Except Changmin, apparently.”

“There’s a few kids like him. Junsu doesn’t either. Yunho rarely does, it’s more of a social thing for him.”

Yoochun handed one to Jaejoong and passed him the lighter. 

“Thanks.”

“Yeah.”

“Listen, Yoochun, about Changmin…”

“I don’t really wanna talk about that kid right now,” Yoochun whined, petulant.

“No, you have to hear this. There’s a reason he’s kind of anal about people smoking. His dad’s been a heavy smoker for decades and he just got diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago. Changmin’s a smart kid, you know? He knew the dangers and would always beg his dad to quit, or at least cut back. Anyways, his dad’s probably going to die pretty soon because he’s freaked out by cancer treatment and refuses to do anything other than take weak traditional medicines.”

Yoochun’s jaw dropped. “I didn’t—I had no idea.”

Jaejoong shook his head. “I know. It’s not your fault. But Changmin’s a sweet kid and you were kind of harsh. He didn’t mean to offend you.”

“Ugh, I’m sorry. God I always mess shit up.”

Jaejoong slung an arm around his cousin’s shoulders. “Chin up, buddy. Tomorrow’s a new day. You can go apologize to him in the morning then you, me, Changmin and whoever else wants to come can go do some sightseeing. There’s a bunch of cool historical stuff here that I’ve never visited because I’m a native, but now that we have an alien there’s an excuse!”

Yoochun laughed and nodded. “Sounds good. Thanks Jaejoong.”

They finished their cigarettes in comfortable silence, exhaling puffs of white smoke into the clear summer night, and then headed back inside together to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Aunt Mina woke the boys up at seven in the morning. “Breakfast is ready, sleepyheads! If you wanna go sightseeing, you’ll have to start early or else stuff will start closing before you can get it all in.”

Yoochun groaned but managed to get up. Jaejoong just whined and pulled the blanket over his head.

Rising groggily, Yoochun wrestled on a pair of loose jeans that didn’t look too ratty and the only v-neck t-shirt he had. A lot of guys were wearing those when he was out yesterday. He tied a flannel around his waist. He’d seen that yesterday a lot, too. He hoped he looked okay, but honestly he had no idea. He’d have to ask Jaejoong. Speaking of which…

“Ow!” Jaejoong groaned. “Dude, why’d throw a pillow at me?”

Yoochun grinned from ear to ear. “Wake up! We have to eat and then go sightseeing. I’m already ready!”

Jaejoong looked at him. “Do you really not own any skinny jeans?”

“No…if you wear those in America people think you’re gay.”

“Aren’t you though?”

Yoochun’s face went as red as the flannel around his waist. “NO!”

Jaejoong fell over his bed, cackling. “You know what, we might actually be the same size, hang on.” He got up and rummaged through his closet, pulling out a black pair of jeans. 

“Here, wear these.”

“Ugh, actually, maybe I should wear shorts. It was really hot yesterday and we’re going to be walking around.”

Jaejoong shoved the jeans into Yoochun’s arms. “Fashion hurts, darling. Wear it!”

“…Fine.”

 

 

 

Of Jaejoong’s eight older sisters (Yoochun still couldn’t get over that number), only three of them were willing to wake up before noon _and_ go out for the day: Yusoon, Sunhee, and Minkyung. Of course, Aunt Mina scolded the rest of them for being lazy bums, but it was all bark and no bite. 

Jaejoong asked the grown-ups if they wanted to come along as well, but they declined. 

“No way, we’ve already seen all those boring monuments a million times.”

Yoochun stared at his mother. “Seriously, mom, even you?” Inju only shook her head. “You guys have fun, I’m going to go shopping with your grandparents today. And I want to spend time with my cute nieces that I never get to see!” she added, pinching the cheek of a half-dead looking Ahyoung who had just sat down at the table for breakfast, hair still a mess and pajamas still wrinkled from too many hours of sleep.

“Well…if you’re sure then.”

“Aww, Inju, your son is so well-mannered. What a cutie,” Yoochun’s aunt squealed. 

His mom smiled—a huge, genuine smile. It had been a while since she’d looked like that; proud, happy and at ease. 

“Thank you. Go on now, kids. Be safe.”

 

 

 

Yoochun, Jaejoong, Yusoon, Sunhee, and Minkyung walked to Changmin’s house to retrieve the boy before heading to their first sightseeing destination of the day. The boy came out of his house, greeting everyone politely and asking how they were, but only sparing a glance and a curt nod for Yoochun. _Great,_ Yoochun thought bitterly, _today’s going to be fun and not awkward at all!_

The subway ride was fine. In just a few days, Yoochun had gotten the hang of using the Seoul subway system. It wasn’t rocket science, but coming from a sleepy town that had nearly no public transportation as well as having limited Korean skills, Yoochun wasn’t expecting himself to pick it up so fast. 

He conversed with Jaejoong and Minkyung, while Sunhee, one of the more responsible Kim children, planned out their day in her notebook. From the corner of his eye, Yoochun noticed Changmin and Yusoon, his most timid cousin, sitting together in comfortable silence, exchanging pleasantries every few minutes. He tried not to scowl. 

As they disembarked, Jaejoong whispered into Yoochun’s ear “did you apologize yet?”

Yoochun sighed. “Haven’t really gotten a chance to.”

“Well you better do it sometime today because it’s not going to sound sincere if you do it any later!”

“Jaejoong, where are you going? Exit C is this way, it’s the closest to the entrance of the palace museum!”

Jaejoong eyed Yoochun one last time. “Coming!” he called, and dragged Yoochun back toward the rest of the group.

 

 

 

Gyeongbokgong palace was astonishingly beautiful. Yoochun had never seen anything like this, save for the times he saw his mom watching Korean dramas on the living room TV. The elegant curves of the rooftops glistening bright red under the summer sun adorned intricately designed buildings, laid out one after another after another, and Yoochun found himself thinking that this place was truly fit for king. 

Tourists and Seoul natives alike milled around the vast grounds, some in huge guided tour groups and some by themselves or in couples. Yoochun tried not to let himself get carried away from the group as he wandered about, jaw hanging loose while snapping pictures of everything. He wanted to peer into each of the thousands of rooms, but settled for being shown the major parts by a tour guide. Jaejoong and his sisters giggled at Yoochun’s dumbfounded expression. Even Changmin’s mouth twitched toward a smile.

Eventually Minkyung brought out her selfie stick and yelled at the group to gather around her. “Get closer!” she demanded, and Yoochun felt Changmin’s arm—warm and smooth—line up against his own as they followed the order. Jaejoong slung his arm around Yoochun’s shoulders and then they all smiled for the camera.

The crowds thinned considerably as the group of teenagers walked deeper into the palace. It was quieter and more tranquil in the grounds of what the inner court, where the Queen’s quarters once were. Further beyond that were the rooms of the crown princes and princesses. Yoochun could hardly quell his excitement, and his imagination ran wild with fantasies of royal romances unfolding in the quiet enclaves of this virtually undisturbed part of the palace. 

“Hey, Jaejoong, do you think—” Yoochun began to ask, but then turned around to discover his cousin wasn’t there. “Huh..? Where’d he go…” he wondered aloud.

“Yusoon was looking extremely dehydrated and was feeling faint, so they went back to the front to get her water and food.” Changmin said.

Yoochun blinked and looked around. It was just the two of them.

“Oh, I see. Oh god, yeah that’s right…I don’t even think she ate breakfast this morning because we were in a hurry to leave, and she didn’t want to get left behind.”

“Hmm.”

“Should we go to them?”

Changmin only shrugged. “They said they’d be back soon. We can continue looking around, I guess.”

“Alright, then,” Yoochun said, his tone still cautious. Now was his chance to apologize for his poor behavior last night.

They wandered around the silent quarters. The only other person in sight was a security guard dressed in traditional clothes to add to the illusion of having gone all the way back in time to the Joseon era. Eventually, they happened upon a pond with a small bridge over it leading to a gazebo with benches. 

“Wanna sit and wait for them?” Yoochun asked. 

“Sure, my legs could use a break.”

They took their time crossing the bridge. Yoochun paused halfway over it to take more pictures, admiring the lilies and lotus flower blossoms that were floating across the waters. The humid air weighed down around them and Yoochun knew this was probably a perfect breeding ground for mosquitos. He’d probably be covered in bites later, but he didn’t care. This place was beautiful, and it was worth every drop of sweat shed that day. 

Changmin sat in the corner of the gazebo, elbow resting on the wooden ledge behind the bench and chin resting on his hand as he looked out at the scenery around them. Yoochun joined him and sat across, shifting uncomfortably. 

“Listen, Changmin…um…”

The younger boy turned to him, disinterest obvious on his face.

“About last night, I was out of line. I snapped at you and I’m sorry.”

“…”

“I, uh, I think we got off on the wrong foot. I’m not a bad person or anything so I’m hoping we can be friends this summer.”

Changmin sighed. “I know you’re not. I’m sorry, too. It’s not my place to judge people’s habits.”

Yoochun smiled. “Thanks.”

Changmin nodded and fished out his water bottle and an apple from his backpack. “You thirsty?” 

“Uh, yes. I should’ve brought my own,” Yoochun said a little sheepishly.

“It’s fine, but waterfall please.”

Yoochun nodded and accepted the bottle. He poured a generous amount down his throat and then handed it back with a satisfied smile. Changmin’s eyes were fixated on him for a long moment and then he snatched his bottle back. 

“Why is your Adam’s apple so freakishly huge?” he mumbled under his breath.

“What was that?”

“Hey guys, sorry we took so long!” Jaejoong called from across the bridge. 

Yoochun and Changmin walked back to them. “Yusoon, are you okay?” Yoochun asked, voice full of brotherly concern. 

She smiled. “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry for the scare. That was stupid of me to have left without eating.”

“Yeah it was!” Sunhee scolded, still holding her sister’s hand. “Never do that again! I thought you were going to pass out for real!”

“Sorry, sorry!”

“Anyways,” Sunhee huffed, “I think we’re done here, right? Do you guys wanna go to another tourist spot or are you done for the day?” 

Yoochun glanced at Changmin, whose eyes no longer looked distant, whose body language was no longer stiff and uncomfortable, and whose hair and shirt was sticking to his body with sweat from walking around all day in the heat. 

“I think I’m good for today,” Yoochun answered his cousin softly. 

“Me too,” Changmin said. “I think I should get home soon.”

 

 

 

After dropping Changmin at his house, the cousins all walked home together, tired and ready for the delicious home-cooked meal that was surely waiting for them in their house.

They were greeted with a loud chorus of “you’re back!” and “you stink! Go shower!” Yoochun grinned and raced his cousins to the bathroom, but let Yusoon win since she probably needed the relaxation of it the most. 

While waiting he found his mom in the living room, sitting on the floor while his cousin Ahyoung sat on the couch behind her. She was braiding his mother’s hair and chatting about school life, her hopes and dreams of becoming a politician, boys, and whatever else. Yoochun saw his mother laugh and reach behind her to pat Ahyoung’s leg. She was conversing so enthusiastically that Yoochun _almost_ felt jealous. Mostly he was just happy to see her having such a nice time. 

“Oh, Yoochun-ah! Welcome back.”

“Hey mom, how was your day?”

“It was lovely, thank you for asking. Come here and show me your pictures!” she said, patting the space on the floor next to her. 

“I’m all sweaty and gross though…”

She just rolled her eyes. “When have I ever cared about that? I raised two boys, I’m used to grossness.”

Yoochun laughed and then sat down to show her his pictures. She kept adding comments like “oh, my baby looks so handsome~” and “wow, my nieces are so pretty,” and “you take such great pictures!” and then she’d pinch his cheek. Yoochun flicked his screen again to show a group photo and she admired it. “Oh, so that boy must be Changmin!” 

“Yup, that’s him.”

“Are you two friends?”

“Hmm? Oh, I don’t know, I mean we just met yesterday.” Even as he said the words they sounded strange—could he really have only met Changmin the day before? It already felt like so much had happened between them: meeting, a dispute over differences, and then moving past that conflict to make up. 

Then Yusoon came out of the bathroom, freshly showered, and Ahyoung shoved Yoochun’s back with her toe. “Okay, your turn. You seriously smell.”

 

 

 

The next day was a lazy one. Sunhee was a bit grumbly about it because she’d worked pretty hard to plan out their schedule to get as much sightseeing done as possible in as little time as possible, but Yoochun made it up to her by giving her some of the snacks he’d bought at the convenience store that first night. 

Her eyes practically had stars in them as he offered her his unhealthiest junk food. 

“Oh my god, my parents never let me eat this crap. Thank you!” she said, giving him a big hug. 

He laughed because her hair tickled his neck and strained to get out of her grip. “It’s fine. We’ll go out again tomorrow, okay? I wanna see everything. Just…not today,” he said, yawning. 

“Fair enough. I’m going to go watch dramas and eat these like the potato I am, and you can’t judge.”

Yoochun held up his hands in defeat. “No judgements.”

 

 

 

He lazed around in Jaejoong’s room, working on a song when he thought his cousin wasn’t looking. He wrote a line, crossed out a word, wrote a verse, then suddenly ripped out the whole page and threw it in the trash when he caught himself trying to describe a certain boy-next-door in his lyrics.

“Creative block?”

Yoochun shut his notebook and looked over at Jaejoong who was still immersed in his computer game.

“Uh, I guess so.”

“It’ll come back,” Jaejoong said confidently. 

“You should show me some of yours.”

“No way in hell, buddy.”

Yoochun frowned. “Pleeease? I’ll love you forever.”

“Tempting, but no, you’re family. You’re obligated to love me anyways.”

Yoochun smiled. Family. Of course they were related, but to already be considered as part of the family he’d only spent a few days with was somewhat of an honor. 

“Please please please?”

“No.”

“I won’t plagiarize lyrics! I value originality,” Yoochun said rather pretentiously.

“Dude, I said no! It’s embarrassing, they all suck.”

“I won’t judge. Mine are all shit, too. Here, take a look.”

Jaejoong shut his laptop and looked over with interest. He took Yoochun’s notebook and looked through it, eyes running back and forth as he read. 

“They’re all in English.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah.”

“They’re good.”

“Really?!”

Jaejoong snapped the notebook shut and looked at him with mock anger. “Yes, damn it! Now I’m definitely never going to show you mine. You’ll laugh.”

Yoochun clutched his notebook of songs to his chest. “I won’t. I hope you’ll show me before I go back.”

“We’ll see, Park!” he shouted, then returned to his game. 

 

 

 

That evening, Yoohwan called Yoochun. 

“Hey Rickster, what’s up?” 

“Uh, not much I guess. The program is cool, everyone’s really nice.”

“I’m happy to hear that. Are you doing okay at Dad’s house?”

Yoohwan was silent for a moment. “Hyung…”

“Tell me honestly, Ricky. Don’t hide anything.”

His brother sniffled on the other end of the line. “Why doesn’t he love us?”

Yoochun felt his heart shatter like glass. His insides twisted painfully and filled him with grief before the thought of his father mistreating his brother replaced that grief with red-hot anger. 

“What did he say?”

“You know, the usual stuff. Mom’s a bitch who didn’t understand him, we’re ungrateful for all he’s done for us. I actually was so confused when he said that that I couldn’t even get sad, haha. What _has_ he ever done for us? And then the usual crap about how he wants to kill himself because his life sucks, and so on and so forth…”

“Oh god. I’m so sorry I’m not there for you right now. He’s crazy. I love you, okay? I love you and mom loves you and all these relatives here in Korea—they’ve never met you but they love you too. I showed them pictures and they ask about you every day and why you’re not here, too. You are so, so loved and valued in this world. Please don’t think you aren’t.”

The sniffles on the other end quieted and drew to a close. “Okay, thanks. Are you having fun over there?”

It was so like Ricky to ask about others well-being even when he was going through something tough. He was such an angel and didn’t deserve all the crap their dad gave them. 

“Yeah, I am. Our cousins are so great, Rick. You’d love them. It would’ve been so fun if you came too.”

“Next time, then.”

“I’ll hold you to it!”

 

 

 

It was hard for Yoochun to fall asleep that night. He tossed and turned in his bed and tried to think of anything but his poor brother stuck in their father’s house. He hoped and prayed that his dad wouldn’t go beyond verbal abuse. He prayed to every god he could think of that their father wouldn’t lay a single finger on Yoohwan because if he did Yoochun would gladly become a murderer without regret or guilt. 

He stared out the open window and tried to calm his thoughts, but to no avail. His heart was frustrated and his head pounded with unwanted worries. He cried out in frustration into his pillow and then the tears spilled over, hot and numerous. 

“Yoochun-ah?” Jaejoong mumbled sleepily.

Yoochun clamped his hand over his mouth and nose, trying not to breathe so as not to wake his cousin. It was too late, though. 

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing—I…” he tried to say, but his voice was thick with tears. 

“Oh my god,” Jaejoong said, sitting up in his bed. “You’re crying? Dude, what happened?”

Now that Jaejoong had already seen him there was no point in trying to hold back. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up,” he sobbed. 

“Shut up, don’t apologize. What’s wrong?” 

“S-so uh, you know my mom and dad are divorced, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well it’s ‘cause my dad’s always been a giant dick. I mean, he’s absolutely crazy and needs to get help but won’t, so he just gets crazier and my brother’s staying with him this summer and I just feel so fucking awful that he has to live with that bastard and I’m not there to protect him.”

Jaejoong listened and nodded and let him cry it out. He didn’t respond much or try to fix anything, he just listened. 

“He’ll be okay.” 

“I wish he was here. I miss him so much.”

Jaejoong handed Yoochun some tissues. “Let’s video call him in the morning, okay? I’m sure he wants to see you too.”

Yoochun sniffed a few more times and blew his nose. “Okay. Thanks, Jaejoong.”

“Idiot. No need to thank me.” 

 

 

 

They did video call Yoohwan in the morning and it brought a smile to everyone’s face. Inju almost teared up because of how much she missed her youngest child. 

“Are you doing okay, baby?”

“I’m fine, mom.”

All the cousins tried to crowd behind the view of Yoochun’s phone at once, trying to say hello. Yoohwan laughed at the ridiculous picture of it and tried his best to greet them in Korean. 

Eventually, he had to go to bed as it was getting really late in the states and he still had volunteering in the morning. They hung up and Yoochun felt just a bit better.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The long summer days passed none too quickly. Some days Yoochun lazed about with his cousins, other days they went out to do more sightseeing, eating, or shopping with Changmin and sometimes Junsu and Yunho or some of Jaejoong’s other friends from school. 

In a short two weeks, Jaejoong had improved Yoochun’s dressing so much that his mom hugged Jaejoong and then went so far as to call him a godsend. 

“I’ve been trying to get him to wear cute stuff like this for ages, thank you Jaejoong.”

“It’s no problem, Auntie.”

Yoochun huffed in embarrassment, but he was still happy. Anything that made his mom happy made him happy, too.

 

 

 

It was a hot, humid evening and Yoochun was playing soccer with Jaejoong and Changmin against Junsu, Yunho, and Sunhee. Yoochun’s team was losing by a lot but he didn’t care at all, he was having a good time. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gotten to do something like this—so carefree and fun and not involving sitting at a desk and doing something related to academics. He felt alive.

“Hey, time out! My mom’s calling me,” Jaejoong said.

Junsu caught the pass from Sunhee under his cleats and caught his breath. Changmin bent at the waist and put his hands on his knees as he tried to get his panting under control. Yoochun grinned and went to his side, allowing the younger boy to lean against him. He was sweating like crazy but for some reason he still smelled good to Yoochun. 

“Mom? What’s up?”

The others listened in silence, trying to hold back their laughter at the memory of Yunho falling on his face earlier. At least he was okay physically; only his ego was bruised.

“ _What?!_ ” Jaejoong shrieked into his phone. Yoochun jerked his head in Jaejoong’s direction and saw his shocked expression. He ran over to him and asked what was wrong.

“O-okay,” Jaejoong said, eyes watering, “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

He hung up and looked at Yoochun, eyes frenzied with worry. “M-my dad f-fell off a ladder when he was organizing stuff at our st-st-store. He’s in the hospital right now for some broken limbs and maybe a concussion. We have to go to the ho-hospital. N-now.” As he finished the sentence his tears broke loose and Yoochun grabbed his hand.

“Guys, did you hear that? Let’s help Jaejoong and Sunhee get there,” Yoochun called to the rest. Sunhee had tears in her eyes, but the boys had determined looks on their faces. Junsu put his arm around Sunhee’s shoulders and they all began to walk to the bus stop. It was probably an odd site—five sweaty teenage boys and one sweaty girl, trying to get on the bus to go to the hospital. They didn’t care. They were friends and they were going to help each other no matter what.

On the bus people wrinkled their noses at them. There were only two empty seats and the group forced Jaejoong and Sunhee to sit while the other four stood around them so the brother and sister could cry without worrying about attracting attention.

At the hospital, the four waited outside while Jaejoong and Sunhee went in to see their dad. “Yoochun, you can come in, too.” Jaejoong said, his voice small and quivering. 

It wasn’t a pretty sight. His uncle was wrapped in casts on one leg and one arm. There were probably several more bandages under the blankets and hospital night gown. He was drugged up on pain medications so he wasn’t really conscious, either. 

But it wasn’t anything life threatening. It would be okay. 

After a while Jaejoong went back outside, and after a few more minutes Yoochun followed. He saw Yunho’s arms wrapped around Jaejoong’s waist and Jaejoong’s head buried in Yunho’s shoulder. Jaejoong was no longer shaking with sobs; instead, he just wanted the comfort of being held. People gave them odd glances as they passed by but Yunho glared at them intensely, as if he was giving a whole speech on _you don’t his situation so leave him the fuck alone_ with just his eyes. 

Changmin walked to Yoochun timidly. “He’ll be fine, right?”

“Yeah, don’t worry. It’s just hard to see him like that, though.”

Jaejoong turned around, still holding onto Yunho’s hand. “I’ll probably have to start working at our store now that dad can’t. Some of my sisters, too, if they want.”

“I’ll do it. I wanna help if I can,” Yoochun blurted.

“You can’t. You don’t have a working visa and you could get in trouble if we were caught. But thank you for offering,” Jaejoong said, smiling sadly. “I just feel bad, though, because I won’t be able to hang out with you as much anymore.”

Yoochun shook his head. “Don’t feel bad, please. You’ve already taught me how to use the transportation here, showed me where the good eats are, and gotten me a hot new wardrobe. I’ll be fine. I’ll hang out with these guys if I get bored of bothering you at work.” He grinned.

Jaejoong allowed himself a small laugh. “Yoochun-ah…thank you.”

 

 

 

Things were a little different from that day on. Jaejoong woke up several hours before Yoochun to get ready and go work at their family’s gardening store. It was kind of an ironic business because they lived in the middle of a concrete jungle, but they were successful enough. Every household wanted their own precious garden, even if it was just a basin of dirt with a few flowers on the outside of a windowsill. They all wanted something they could grow themselves with care and attention and to enjoy the reward of a job well done in the form of a beautiful living thing. 

True to his word, Yoochun bothered Jaejoong on the job at every given opportunity. He even brought Jaejoong lunch on some days, and during his break they’d eat together and smoke for a while.

“I miss hanging out with you,” Jaejoong said sadly. 

“I miss you too, hyung.”

“I miss hanging out with all of you. You’re the only one that visits. Yunho came a couple times but he was kind of weird.”

Yoochun fought back a knowing giggle. “Oh, he did? Interesting.”

“By the way, I want to ask you something. But don’t get offended, okay?”

“Shoot.”

“Are you gay?”

Yoochun choked on nothing and spluttered out half-formed denials. “What? No way!”

“Chill! I was just wondering.”

“What led you to think that? Have I ever expressed interest in a guy here?”

“Not really, but you haven’t expressed interest in any girls either. And we’ve seen a lot of pretty girls. And a lot of them have checked you out and flirted with you. And you don’t live with girls in the states so you’re not used to them so you should have some kind of reaction.”

_Damn, that’s good logic,_ Yoochun thought. “Well the same happens to you and you don’t have a girlfriend!”

“Yeah, that’s because I am gay.” Jaejoong stated plainly.

“Oh.”

“That’s not a problem, right?”

Yoochun laughed. “No, it’s not, I promise. Does your family know though?”

Jaejoong grimaced. “No, they don’t. Only two of my sisters do. My parents and grandparents have no idea.” He sighed.

Yoochun nodded in silent understanding. “One day, buddy. It’ll be okay.”

Jaejoong looked off to the side. “I wish I could believe you.”

After a few more minutes, Jaejoong’s break was over and it was time for him to get back to work. “Yoochun,” he said, “do me a favor.”

“What’s up?”

“Hang out with Changmin when you’re not busy. That kid is going through some rough shit right now and I don’t want him to feel alone when he doesn’t need to.”

“Yeah…okay, you’re right. I will. Do you know what he likes to do?”

Jaejoong smiled. “No idea. You should ask him and find out.”

 

 

 

And so, the following day, Yoochun woke up bright and early and headed over to Changmin’s house after a light breakfast. 

He opened the door, still wearing pajamas, and raised an eyebrow. “Hey Yoochun. No Jaejoong today?”

“Nope, he’s working again. But uh, I was wondering. Do you wanna hang out today? I’m getting kind of bored staying at home while Jaejoong works.”

“So you just asked me to hang out because you were bored.” Changmin asked, unimpressed. Yoochun swallowed. Changmin’s pajamas were made of really thin, worn cotton and they clung to his slender frame. His hair was still disheveled and his voice was rough with residual sleepiness. 

“Yeah—wait, no. No, I actually want to hang out with you.”

Changmin burst into laughter. “I was just messing with you, but thanks, I’m flattered.”

“Why you little…!”

“Sure, I can hang out. What do you want to do?”

“Oh, uh, actually, I was going to ask you what you wanted to do since Jaejoong and I have kind of been dragging you around since the summer started.”

“Yes, you have.”

“Sorry…” Yoochun mumbled.

“Just hang on for a bit while I get ready. You can come wait inside if you want.”

Yoochun thanked him and took off his shoes to step inside the house. He looked around and the first thing he noticed was how neat it was compared to Jaejoong’s place. Which was expected, of course, considering the difference in family size. But still, there was no mess at all. It was pleasing to the eye, but it felt cold somehow.

A woman, Changmin’s mother, came out of her bedroom and regarded Yoochun with careful eyes.

“Um, hello. I’m Park Yoochun, the cousin of Jaejoong who lives next door. Nice to meet you.”

“Hello,” was all the response she gave.

Just when the awkward silence was about to cause Yoochun to break into a sweat, Changmin came down the stairs, cap on his head and bag on his shoulders. 

“Let’s go, Yoochun.”

“Where are you going, Changmin?”

“Oh, mom. Yoochun and I are going out today for a while.”

“Do you really think it’s appropriate for you to be going out so much in this situation?” his mother pressed icily. 

Changmin tensed visibly. Yoochun felt out of place—he shouldn’t have come in. Whatever was going on was a family matter that he had no part in. 

“I’ll be back in a few hours.” Changmin bit out. “Let’s _go_ , Yoochun.”

Yoochun bowed his way out and followed Changmin out the door. They walked in silence for a few minutes. Changmin’s shoulders were tense as he forged ahead.

“Everything okay?”

“Fine.”

“Oookay. So where are we going?”

“Anywhere. Give me a second. I’ll decide in a minute just…” he trailed off. Yoochun decided not to press. Instead, he walked alongside Changmin, and, after a few minutes, hesitantly slung an arm around his shoulders. They were trembling.

 

 

 

They ended up at the movies. Changmin bought two tickets for the action-packed summer blockbuster before Yoochun could even pull his wallet out of his pocket. To get him back for that, Yoochun bought Changmin the biggest bucket of buttery popcorn there was. He’d barely have enough money to get home, but seeing Changmin’s eyes light up was worth it. He looked his age when he smiled like that.

The movie was perfectly paced with action, suspense, car chases and mystery. Yoochun and Changmin were on the edge of their seats at some parts, tensed in anticipation. During other parts they were laughing so hard their stomachs hurt. Changmin ate the popcorn continuously and halfway through realized he was being rude and offered some to Yoochun. Then Changmin offered Yoochun his drink, too, and this time he didn’t tell Yoochun to waterfall the drink like he did when they were at Gyeongbeokgong. 

At the end of the movie, Changmin disposed of the empty popcorn bag and made a quick stop in the restroom before he and Yoochun left the theatre. Yoochun had a fleeting thought of following him in but then slapped his forehead with his palm and shook his head vigorously. _What’s wrong with me?_

By the time they finally exited, the day had turned to dusk. The heat of the day withered away, leaving a cool breeze and an enchanting purple sky in its place. The clouds moved swiftly through the dimming sky, and the moon was extraordinarily bright for so early in the evening.

“I didn’t realize it had gotten this late…” Changmin said.

“Do you need to be home soon?” Yoochun asked, but he found himself hoping the answer would be no.

“I do, but…I don’t want to go home.”

“Changmin-ah…”

“S-sorry…”

“What are you apologizing for? I understand that feeling.”

Changmin looked to Yoochun. “You do?”

Yoochun nodded. “I understand…when there’s a situation at home that’s not pleasant to be around.”

“It sucks.” 

“That it does.”

They boarded the bus in silence and found empty seats in the back to sit in. It would be a twenty minute ride to get back to their homes. Yoochun sneaked a glance at Changmin. The younger was slouched inward and he wore a defeated, saddened expression. The bus rolled to a slow stop, and Yoochun made a decision. Suddenly, he grabbed Changmin by the wrist and pulled him up.

“We’re getting off here.”

“What? It’s not our stop yet.”

“I know. But you said you didn’t want to go home yet, and I don’t have to be home until late, so let’s stay out for a while longer.”

“But Yoochun, my mom will get so mad,” Changmin protested.

“Don’t worry, I’ll think of something!” Yoochun said, eyes sparkling with mischief. The bus’s doors opened with a loud _whoosh_ , and Yoochun dragged Changmin off before the younger boy could say anything else.

Yoochun had been taking this bus route frequently during the few weeks he’d been in Korea. He knew there was a huge park nearby somewhere. Not the lame kind with only a few slides and swings but the really beautiful, expansive kind with flower gardens, soccer fields, basketball hoops and even food trucks in the corners.

The sky grew steadily darker with the approaching night and the streetlamps began to light. Changmin trailed behind Yoochun by a few steps, asking where they were heading every few minutes.

“We’re almost there!”

“Are you sure you’re not getting us lost?”

“Aha! Here we are.” Yoochun announced proudly. They had come up by the back entrance of the park, where there was a large expanse of green and a trail leading down the middle lined by bushes that were decorated with all kinds of flowers. Much further in, benches and a playground were visible. In the far corner there was an ice cream truck with the ‘OPEN’ sign still lit.

“Let’s take a walk.”

“We have been walking,” Changmin argued.

“Then let’s walk and talk.”

“Talk about what?” Changmin asked, but he followed Yoochun onto the park trail anyways.

“About whatever you want to talk about.”

Changmin glanced at the bushes of gardenias on the side of the trail. He leaned down to smell the fragrant white flowers, now in full bloom, and inhaled deeply. He picked one off, then plucked another.

“For my sisters.”

“That’s nice of you. You guys get along well?”

“Yeah, we do. The two of them bicker a lot, but they’re best friends. And the older one tries to argue with me sometimes, sometimes she even tries to wrestle me.” Changmin laughs. “When we were all younger I’d let her win sometimes.”

“They like flowers?”

“Hmm? Oh, I don’t actually think they care. But, since the situation is what it is, they can’t get out much. I just want to do something for them.”

“What is the situation?”

Changmin eyed Yoochun warily as they continued walking. The cicadas hiding in the trees all around them chirped loudly and the breeze rustled the leaves. Yoochun’s long hair swished around his face in the wind, covering his eyes every few seconds. Their shoes clapped against the stone pathway as they walked.

“Your cousins haven’t told you?”

Yoochun shrugged. “They might have mentioned something, but I’d like to hear you talk about your own situation. Only if you want to share, though.”

Changmin sighed. They came to a bench and Yoochun stopped in front of it. “Let’s sit,” he suggested. 

“He’s sick. My dad. Cancer.” Changmin looked down at his shoes, seeing nothing but the images inside his head of his grey-haired father. “He refuses all modern treatment. No chemotherapy, no surgery.”

“…”

“That’s why things are kind of tense at home.”

As he spoke, Changmin’s head lowered. His hair wasn’t as long as Yoochun’s, but it still fell around his face, covering his expression. 

“Wait here,” Yoochun said. Changmin looked up to see Yoochun jog towards the ice cream truck. He couldn’t hear too clearly over the wind and cicadas, nor did he have enough energy left in him to try to hear, but it looked like Yoochun was arguing with the ice cream truck vendor. He looked kind of funny, using hands in exaggerated motions and stamping his foot like a child throwing a tantrum. Eventually the vendor rubbed his temples with his hands and Yoochun grinned in what appeared to be victory.

As he waited, Changmin smelled the flower in his hand for the nth time. It was an intense fragrance, heavy and dense in the midst of its summertime full bloom. He hoped his sisters would like it. 

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” came Yoochun’s voice as he jogged back to the bench with one ice cream cone in each hand.

“How much was mine?” Changmin asked, already pulling out his wallet.

“Not telling. It’s my treat. Take it.” Yoochun said, grinning from ear to ear.

“…Thanks.” Changmin gave in, accepting the ice cream cone from Yoochun. “Why did it look like you were arguing with that guy?” he asked as he took a lick. It was mint chocolate chip flavor, definitely one of his favorites.

“I told him to add fudge at the bottom and he tried to make it way more expensive than it should be so I had to bargain the price down.”

“Oh? I’m impressed, the American is fluent enough to bargain.”

Yoochun laughed and shoved his shoulder against Changmin’s playfully. “Shut up and eat it before it melts.”

“Hah. Am I a kid or what? Getting me ice cream to make me feel better.” Changmin looked down again. 

For a few moments, Yoochun was silent. Then he put a hand on Changmin’s shoulder and looked Changmin in the eyes. Those eyes reflected the bright moon above and stared back at Yoochun, wide open and wondering. “You’re allowed to be a kid, Changmin-ah.”

“…It’s good ice cream.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

“Thanks, hyung.”

“Hey, you’re welcome, I’m just happy that—woah, hey, what? You’re already finished?!” 

Changmin wiped his hands on Yoochun’s pants and then belched loudly. “I said it was good ice cream.”

Yoochun sputtered confused babble for another minute until Changmin asked “are you going to keep mumbling hysterical nonsense or are you going to eat that, because seriously it was really good and I’ll eat more.”

“I’m eating it!” Yoochun huffed, and then took a bit bite out of his ice cream. “Oh, fuck, brainfreeze!”

“Language, Yoochun, there are kids around here!”

“Brat.”

“Since you said I could be a kid, I’m going to those swings over there. Race you?”

“I’m not finished with my ice cream!”

“Not my problem.” Changmin shrugged, then took off. Yoochun ran as fast as he could with an ice cream cone in one hand, so naturally Changmin won and got the cleaner-looking swing. 

“I suppose you want me to push you too,” Yoochun grumbled.

“No, these legs aren’t painted on. I can use them.” 

And what legs they were. Yoochun hadn’t really noticed before but as Changmin swung back and forth, extending his legs to go higher and higher, Yoochun realized that those legs went on for miles. They were slender and elegant and they were the longest legs Yoochun had ever seen.

“I’m going to jump off.” Changmin said.

“What? No, that’s dangerous!” 

“Relax, I know what I’m doing.”

“Seriously Changmin, don’t. You don’t want to get injured.”

Changmin jumped. And he landed neatly on his feet, knees bent and arms out.

“Ta-dah.”

“HEY, WHAT THE HELL MAN?” Yoochun yelled, but Changmin only laughed in response. Yoochun tossed his ice cream cone in the trash can and then slung an arm around Changmin’s neck and brought him in for a good old-fashioned noogie.

“Stop!” Changmin whined, but he was laughing the whole way through.

“Okay, kid, you’ve had your fun.”

“We have to go back now?” Changmin asked, and he was pouting.

“Ugh, when did I become the responsible one? Yes, I think we do.”

“Okay.” All of a sudden, Changmin’s voice was small again. They walked to the bus stop and began to wait.

“You think you’ll be okay going back home?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

Yoochun sighed. This was reminding him too much of Yoohwan. His heart felt heavy. Why did parents always have to take out their shit on their kids?

“Give me your phone, Changmin-ah.”

Yoochun put his number into the younger boy’s phone and then handed it back to him. 

“Let’s hang out again soon, okay?” 

The bus pulled up to the sidewalk. Changmin stared at the new number in his phone. _Park Yoochun <3_, it read. Unable to help himself, Changmin smiled. He bumped his side against Yoochun’s playfully. “Sounds good, hyung.” 

 

 

 

Back at home, after a big dinner of hot pot with his family, Yoochun was scrolling through his texts in his room. Jaejoong walked in soon after, toweling off his hair which was still wet from a suspiciously long shower.

“So, how was the date with Changmin?”

“Wasn’t a date.”

“Uh-huh.” 

Yoochun could hear the smile in Jaejoong’s voice without turning around to see it. “It was good. We had a good time.”

“I’m really glad to hear it.”

Yoochun tossed his phone into a corner and laid back on his sheets. “Yeah it was…really fun. We went to the movies, the park, had ice cream.” His voice sounded far-off. “But enough about it. How was work? Did Yunho come by again today?”

Jaejoong flopped onto his bed. “No.”

“Someone sounds disappointed.”

“I’m not disappointed, okay!”

Now it was Yoochun’s turn to say “Uh-huh.”

“Look,” Jaejoong sighed. “I just got used to him coming by, that’s all. He’d been coming by pretty much every other day or so, so I just…kind of…”

“You were expecting him.”

“Yeah…and then you were with Changmin today, and I don’t know, some customers were really rude and also I dropped a potted plant and had to clean it up and I guess it’s just kind of been not the greatest day and on the way home a bird took a shit on my new shoes, so that’s why I was so long in the bathroom, ‘cuz I was trying to clean bird shit off of it and—” 

“Hey,” Yoochun interrupted softly, “sounds like you had the worst day ever.”

“Yeah, I did, thanks,” Jaejoong said thickly.

“You know what might make you feel better?”

Jaejoong sniffed and looked up. “What?”

“I think Yunho’s calling you.”

“What—oh!” Jaejoong grabbed his phone, which he hadn’t noticed was vibrating, and answered it. “Hey, Yunho, what’s up?”

In their small, quiet room, Yoochun could hear Yunho speaking on the other end.

_“Jaejoong, hey, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to make it to the store today, I really wanted to.”_

“O-oh, that’s okay. Um, it was busy anyways.”

_“Oh, I see…”_

There was a pregnant pause. Yoochun motioned frantically for Jaejoong to speak again.

“Actually, it was a pretty sucky day at work. And, uh, I guess…I found myself wishing I could see you.”

_“R-really?”_

Jaejoong chuckled. “Yeah, really. I like when you visit me. I need a break from Yoochun’s ‘how do you say this in Korean?’ questions anyways.” Yoochun threw a pillow at Jaejoong for that one.

_“Aah, haha, I see. Well, um, to make it up to you then, could I take you out for dinner sometime?”_

Jaejoong’s jaw dropped. He looked at Yoochun and mouthed ‘ohmygodwhatthehell didhejustaskmeoutwhatdoisay???” Yoochun waved his arms up and down and mouthed emphatically: ‘hello!!! Say yes!!!’

“Sure, I’d like that. Um, could you pick me up from work on Friday?”

_“Yes, absolutely! I will do that. See you then.”_

“Great. Yeah, see you then. Bye.”

_“Good night, Jaejoong.”_

Jaejoong clutched at his chest dramatically and pretended to swoon. Yoochun clapped a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. 

“Good night, Yunho.” Jaejoong hung up the phone and looked at Yoochun with a huge smile on his face. Yoochun went in for a fist bump which Jaejoong met and then he flung his arms around Yoochun in his excitement. 

“Oh my god Yunho asked me out!”

Yoochun shrieked at the sudden assault and tried to fight his cousin off. “Yes, he did. What are you going to wear?” 

“Shit, why’d I tell him to pick me up from work? I’ll be wearing that ugly orange apron and functional, baggy clothes! Yoochun! What do I do?”

“Take off the apron and change like an hour before he gets there?”

“Oh, you’re a genius. I’ll do that.”

“Alright then can you get off of me?”

Jaejoong only laughed and fell onto the bed next to Yoochun. “Let’s call your brother.”

“Okay.” Yoochun dialed Yoohwan and after a few rings, the younger Park picked up, gretting Yoochun enthusiastically. “Hey there, Rickster. How was your day?”

_“It was good. Yours?”_

Jaejoong snatched the phone. “YOUR BROTHER WENT ON A DATE TODAY!”

“I DID NOT! I HUNG OUT WITH HIM. IT’S NOT A DATE.” Yoochun reached for his phone but Jaejoong kept it just out of grasp, telling Yoohwan all about Yoochun’s outing with Changmin. “Jaejoong, give it to me!”

“Fine, fine! Here you go.” 

“Hey, Yoohwan-ie, sorry about that. He’s a bit excited because he actually just got asked out.”

_“Good, because I mean…I know you’re hanging out with Jaejoong and everyone these days, and I’m not with you, but I still hope…that if there was something going on in your life—like if you liked someone or wanted to go out with someone—I’d still want to be the first to know. I’m your brother.”_

“Oh, Ricky, of course. You’d be the first one I tell. Same goes to you.”

_“So it really wasn’t a date? The one you went on today?”_

“Huh? No, of course not! It was with a guy. We just hung out. He’s Jaejoong’s neighbor.”

_“Dates are still dates when they’re with guys.”_

“What?” Yoochun couldn’t really comprehend what he was hearing. “Yoohwan, what are you talking about? I don’t go on dates with guys. I date girls. I like girls, remember?”

_“I know. I’m just saying, if something like that were to happen…I just want to be the first to know. Not Jaejoong or Sunhee or Ahyoung. I’m your brother.”_

Yoochun still couldn’t wrap his head around the conversation he was having. “Well, yeah, I’ll tell you. But so far, nothing’s new.” 

_“Okay, hyung. I’ll talk to you again soon. Gotta go to bed.”_

“Alright, Rick. Hey, how is it with Dad?”

Yoohwan sighed on the other end of the line and Yoochun’s heart clenched as a reflex. _“I wish I was in Korea with you.”_

Yoochun tried not to tear up. “I’ll be home soon. I love you.”

_“You too, hyung. Sleep well.”_

“Have a good day at the hospital.”

Yoochun hung up the phone and Jaejoong hugged him. He stroked Yoochun’s hair gently. Three weeks ago, this would have been weird, but now, Yoochun curls into the comfort and clings to his cousin—his second brother. 

“He’ll be rewarded.”

“What?” 

“Because he made a sacrifice,” Jaejoong said. “He chose to undergo a tough living situation in order to work towards his future. He will definitely be rewarded.”

Yoochun sniffed quietly. “By who?”

“The universe. God. Karma. Whatever you believe in. But whatever force is out there, it doesn’t let these things go unnoticed. I promise. His reward for enduring this will be worth every minute tenfold.”

“You really think so, Jaejoong-hyung?”

Jaejoong smiles. Yoochun had starting using the word ‘hyung’ when he was feeling particularly vulnerable or helpless. It was one of his quirks that Jaejoong had learned to love over the past few weeks together with his cousin. “I know so. Go to sleep.”

“Wait.” Yoochun fished out his phone from between the pillows. “Changmin texted me so I’d have his number. He said ‘I had fun today. See you next time.’”

“Ooh, you guys are cute.” 

Yoochun shoved at him. “What should I text back?”

“Why are you asking me that?”

“Because…I don’t know.”

“You wouldn’t ask that if you didn’t like him.”

“SHUT UP, JAEJOONG.”

“YOU SHUT UP, EVERYONE’S TRYING TO SLEEP.”

“Okay, fine, I’ll just…” Yoochun trailed off as he typed a quick: ‘Same here. I really enjoyed today with you. Good night.’ and then turned his phone off. He yawned, and it made Jaejoong yawn too. Exhausted from a long day, they closed their eyes and dozed off together on the bed. Outside their open bedroom window, the cicadas chirped and the stars twinkled brightly in the navy ink sky. It was the first time they shared a bed that summer, and far from the last.


	3. Chapter 3

The days seemed to go by quickly before Friday came. Yoochun spent his mornings lazing about inside the house with his family, playing games, texting Yoohwan, eating leftovers from the fridge or sleeping until noon. He also spent a considerable amount of time texting Changmin. 

Jaejoong learned to be grateful for his job because it made the time until Friday pass faster as it kept him extremely busy. Yoochun visited him during the lunch break on Friday and brought the change of clothes that Jaejoong had packed carefully in a bag and then forgotten at home.

“God, what would I do without you?” Jaejoong sighed, snatching it out of Yoochun’s hands.

“Look frumpy on your first date with Yunho.”

“I’d rather die.”

Yoochun snickered and tucked into his lunch. After he finished eating, he lit a cigarette and offered one to Jaejoong, who politely refused. Yoochun raised a questioning eyebrow.

“I dunno, I mean, if the date goes well with Yunho, and we kiss or something, I don’t want to smell like cigarettes. Since, you know, he doesn’t smoke and all.”

“Oh. So are you trying to quit?” 

“Nah. Not yet, at least. Maybe if somewhere down the road he asked me to…”

Yoochun took a long drag and exhaled slowly. “So if Yunho asked you to jump off a bridge would you do it? So dedicated already, before the first date.” His voice scathed with sarcasm. 

“Well, no. Jumping off a bridge isn’t good for my health, but quitting smoking would be. What’s your problem, anyway, Yoochun?”

“Nothing, just that everyone seems to be fucking judging me for smoking. You’re not a saint, Jaejoong, you smoke too. Not having one cigarette a few hours before your date isn’t going to make Yunho magically fall in love with you and mount you on his white stallion as you ride off into the sunset toward his castle in the magic forest.”

Jaejoong got up quickly and balled his fists. “I’m not judging you, what the hell? And I don’t know why you’re being such a dick right now but I’m about to go on a first date with a guy I really like, so you should get the fuck out of here before you ruin my mood so completely that I fuck up my date.”

“And now some guy is more important than family, I get it.”

“Get the fuck out of here, Yoochun!” Jaejoong yelled.

“Fine. Bye.” Yoochun grabbed his things and stormed out. Anger bubbled in his chest and the hot sun outside did nothing to temper it. He walked and walked. Sweat poured down his face and back and drenched his clothes. He got on a bus and rode it until the last stop, and then he walked some more. He had no idea where his legs were taking him, but hoped that instinct would know better than anger and take him somewhere safe.

He ended up at the river. The Han River, to be precise. The sun was already setting by the time he got there, reflecting bright orange and yellow on the water. People were milling about, talking to one another. Little kids were running around with balloons as their parents chased after them. A girl sitting on the steps leading down to the banks strummed her guitar. Couples with linked arms stood around her, applauding lightly. Yoochun felt lonely in the crowd. He walked further and further down the bank until the crowds began to thin. The noise faded in the background and he could hear the gentle river waves lapping against the bank. 

The anger had dulled. Now he just felt mad at himself. Jaejoong hadn’t said anything wrong, Yoochun was just being defensive. And for what? No one had made any attacks against him. He just felt that this one habit was garnering more negative attention than he had ever realized it would. Just then, he pulled the pack of cigarettes and stared down at it. Was it worth it? First Changmin got a first bad impression of him, then he got defensive over nothing toward Jaejoong. He constantly had to hide this from his mom, and of course his brother, too. Here, he didn’t have any delinquent friends to smoke with behind the skate park. Just family, all around him, all the time, who would surely be disappointed should they ever find out about his dirty little secret. 

Yoochun raised his hand and chucked the box toward the river. It sailed over the green grass and almost made it into the water until a boy came running out of nowhere and caught it in one hand. He nearly lost his balance and toppled over into the water, but steadied himself. He stormed up to Yoochun and flicked his hair out of his eyes. 

Changmin.

“I’m glad you want to get rid of these, but they belong in the trash, not the river.”

“R-right,” Yoochun stuttered. He was a bit flabbergasted that Changmin had just appeared out of nowhere, running at top speed like a superhero. Windswept hair really added to the effect. Yoochun was so awestruck that his heart skipped a beat. It had to be awe—it certainly couldn’t be because Changmin looked dazzling in the sunset. Surely not because Changmin’s cheeks were flushed from his heroic running and leaping to prevent Yoochun from becoming a littering criminal. Yoochun took back the pack gingerly and Changmin guided him to the nearest trash can. 

“I never even thought about quitting, before.”

“What changed?” Changmin asked.

“I guess it’s harder to hide now. And I just don’t want to disappoint my family.”

“And?”

“And…and I don’t want to disappoint you.”

Changmin looked at him long and hard. The wind blew his black hair to and fro and Yoochun longed to reach out and stroke his fingers through the messy mop. 

“Let’s sit,” Changmin said.

They sat on the grass, not really caring if it dirtied their clothes or if bugs would bite. Changmin lay back, hands under his head and elbows sticking out, and Yoochun imitated him. The clouds floated by, and they were tinged pink and orange against a darkening sky. 

“You’re a bit more somber than usual,” Changmin said.

“Yeah, well, I was a dick to Jaejoong and I’m regretting it a lot right now.”

“He’ll forgive you.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“He’s family. He loves you.”

Changmin had no way of knowing how deeply those words struck Yoochun, who fell silent once more. The bugs continued their chiriping and what little crowd of people was left was dwindling down. Soon it would be night. Neither of them made any indication of wanting to leave.

“How are your sisters?” Yoochun asked.

“They’re fine. They both have a lot of friends to go out with.”

“And you? How are you holding up?”

Changmin sighed. “I’m hanging in there. Dad is getting worse and mom cries a lot. And when she’s not crying she’s taking her frustration out on us. It’s really annoying, but I’m old enough to know she doesn’t mean it, she’s just stressed and doesn’t have an outlet. My sisters don’t get that so that’s why I try not to leave them home alone with her.”

“You’re really grown-up, huh?”

Changmin only shrugged. “Happens when you’re the oldest. I’m sure you can relate.”

Yoochun gazed up at the sky. “My younger brother always seems so much more mature than me. I always cry, but he’s always so calm. I cling to our mom and he always seems so independent. But when it comes to dealing with tough times…I want him to lean on me, and I want to be the one protecting him. Even though he’s not a baby anymore…I just want him to have someone to look up to.”

“Yeah,” Changmin said. “I get it. Really, I understand.” 

Night fell quickly and the stars emerged. It was still as humid as daytime, but some of the heat had dwindled. In fact, by the banks of the river, it was almost pleasant. 

Changmin turned onto his side to face Yoochun, who was still looking up at the stars, though very few were visible in the big-city sky.

“What are you thinking about now?” Changmin whispered. He didn’t know why he was whispering, only that Yoochun was so close to him, there didn’t seem to be a need to speak very loudly. 

“My brother. He told me to tell him first if something big happens.”

“Something big? Like what?” 

Yoochun turned onto his side to face Changmin. The younger boy’s eyes were wide and alight with the glow of moonlight reflecting in them. His hair fell across his high and elegant cheekbones and jaw. Yoochun swallowed. He allowed his gaze to fall onto Changmin’s parted lips. 

“Like this,” Yoochun said, and kissed him. 

Changmin let out the tiniest gasp, closed his eyes, and kissed back. He wound an arm around Yoochun’s waist and traced Yoochun’s jaw with the other. If he was ever shy before, he wasn’t being shy now. Yoochun finally got to sweep his fingers through Changmin’s messy black hair and feel its silky texture and the sweat at its roots. Too soon, he pulled back. Changmin smiled with one corner of his mouth and leaned in for another peck. 

“We should get going,” Changmin said. 

“Yeah. I hope the buses are still running.”

“Should’ve thought about that before you assaulted me.”

Yoochun sputtered indignantly. “I didn’t assault you! You kissed back!”

Changmin laughed. “I’m only joking.” 

They got up and dusted off their clothes. In the cover of dark, Changmin gathered the courage to grab hold of Yoochun’s hand as they set off for the bus stop. Both of their palms were sweaty and dirty from the grass. It was all perfect.

They waited at the bus stop, sitting at the lonely bench, and didn’t talk much. Yellow light spilled onto them from the streetlamp above and gnats flitted to and fro under the bright beam. Changmin sighed and leaned his head on Yoochun’s shoulder gently. Yoochun’s heart beat faster and he put an arm around Changmin’s slim shoulders as they rested against one another. The streetlamp flickered in and out of power before it finally gave out, flooding their bench in darkness.

That darkness provided cover, and it made Changmin brave. “I wish tonight wouldn’t end.”

“Me, too, Changmin-ah.” 

“And I really, really don’t want this summer to end.”

“Why? Aren’t you tired of being at home in that tense situation? Don’t you wanna go back to school so you’re not stuck at home?”

“When the summer ends, you’ll leave.”

Yoochun had almost forgotten…he wasn’t here forever. 

“And then I don’t know what’ll become of…”

Of us. 

Yoochun didn’t know either. He tightened his hold on Changmin’s shoulders and kissed his hair. The stayed like that until the bus came. When it finally rolled to a stop and a sleepy looking grey-haired driver grunted at them to hurry up and get on, they walked all the way to the back seat and sat in it like they were still on their bench. They didn’t let go of each other’s hands the whole way. Changmin dozed off on Yoochun’s shoulder and Yoochun watched his chest rise and fall. He watched the little strand of hair that fluttered with each puff of exhaled breath. Changmin’s cheekbones were really a sight to behold—higher than those of any model or actress. This subdued elegance couldn’t be achieved with fame or surgeries—Changmin was born with it.

The bus rumbled on and Changmin hardly stirred. He was a deep sleeper. Yoochun looked out the window and realized just how late it had gotten. He wondered if the others were starting to worry. But he didn’t care enough to check his phone because he was too busy enjoying Changmin’s warmth against his body. What would happen to them when the summer was over? They were too young to know the answer and knew not what the future held.

The gruff, grey-haired bus driver rolled to a stop and Yoochun realized his time to contemplate was up. Gently, he shook Changmin awake. 

 

 

 

Jaejoong changed in the store’s employee bathroom stall, stuffing his work clothes with more force than was necessary into his bag as he replayed lunch with Yoochun in his mind. He just couldn’t understand why Yoochun was being so mean. And on the day of his first date with Yunho, too.

Oh god, today was his first date with Yunho. He triple-checked himself in the mirror, then told himself he was being ridiculous and acting like a girl, then checked again and reasoned that it was not his fault he was acting like the eight other children he grew up around.

Dressed in his date clothes, Jaejoong returned to the store’s counter and began closing the shop. He locked up the cash register and started turning off all the lights in the store when the front door chimed and someone walked in. 

“Sorry, sir, we’re closing.”

“Good,” said Yunho.

Jaejoong gasped and stopped what he was doing. “Yunho!”

“Hi there, Jaejoong.” Yunho smiled and brought out a single red rose from behind his back. “I-I hope this isn’t too cheesy or girly or anything.”

Jaejoong couldn’t help giggling. “It’s both, but I love it anyways. Thank you,” he said as he accepted the flower. 

“You look really nice,” Yunho said.

“Thank you. You do too.”

“Are you ready to go?”

“Yes.”

Yunho showed him out the door to his car. It wasn’t anything fancy, not a sports car, but he was one of the only people their age who had his license and drove a car. It was very attractive. 

Jaejoong got into the passenger’s seat and pulled on his seatbelt. The car smelled of leather and cinnamon. It was clean inside, no stray papers or old food wrappers anywhere, and the scent was coming from a tiny ornament hanging from the rear view mirror. Jaejoong pulled on his seatbelt and tried not to fidget too much in his seat but couldn’t help messing with the hem of his sweater. Yunho got into the driver’s seat and started the car, then played a CD. The music was in English, and Jaejoong couldn’t understand it, but he could tell it was romantic.

“Where are you taking me?” Jaejoong asked as Yunho started to drive. 

“A Korean restaurant,” he replied, smiling mischievously. 

Jaejoong hid his minor disappointment. He ate Korean food all the time at home and never understood why people liked to go out just to eat more of the same kind of food. 

But when they got there, all complaints were forgotten. It was the fanciest restaurants Jaejoong had ever been to. A waitress showed them to their table—or rather their private booth—which was walled off by paper screen doors. There was a low wooden table in the center of the room and cushions on the floor to sit on. The decoration was astounding in its attention to detail and color coordination. As Yunho guided Jaejoong to his seat with a courteous hand hovering over the small of his back, Jaejoong couldn’t help but ask—

“Yunho, why did you choose this place? It looks so expensive.”

Yunho looked sheepish. “I just wanted to show you a good time.”

Jaejoong smiled and reached across the table to twine his fingers through Yunho’s. “I’m having a great time.”

Yunho smiled hugely and they launched into animated chatter about this and that and that and this. They were laughing when their food came in and hardly noticed as the waitress set down each artful dish on their table. 

When something about Yoochun came up in the conversation, Jaejoong’s face fell noticeably. His lips turned downwards into a frown.

“Jaejoong? What’s wrong?” Yunho put down his chopsticks to reach across the table and hold Jaejoong’s hand in both of his. 

“Nothing—it’s just…we sort of got into an argument today. Or more like…I don’t really know what I said, but he started yelling at me. It was really awful.”

“Oh, no, I’m so sorry. I know you guys are close.”

Jaejoong shook his head. “I just don’t know what I did wrong.”

“If you really don’t know, then maybe you didn’t do anything wrong, Jaejoong. Maybe he was just taking out his anger about something else on you. Which he shouldn’t have done, but…yeah.”

“Do you think if I talk to him later he won’t be mad at me anymore?”

“He definitely won’t. I bet he’s waiting for you right now, forming his apology in his head as we speak.”

Jaejoong smiled appreciatively and gave Yunho’s comforting hand a brief squeeze. “Thanks, Yunho. But Yoochun’s apology will just have to wait, because I am enjoying this food and this company way too much for the time being.”

“Ooh, then try this one, I love this one,” Yunho said, holding out a thin slice of grilled, seasoned between his chopsticks.

Jaejoong laughed. “That’s not how you’re supposed to eat it!” He took the slice in his own chopsticks and dropped a bit of red sauce onto it and then wrapped it in some sort of leafy green. “Here. Open up.” 

Yunho bit down and moaned. “Really delicious. I still prefer my way though.”

“Your way is totally uncultured and crude,” Jaejoong teased. Yunho grinned like an idiot. 

They pigged their way through another course and then dessert, then fought the oncoming food coma to walk off the calories outside in the warm night air. They couldn’t stop laughing over one thing or the other—maybe something Junsu did, or something that happened at school, or a stupid question that a customer had asked at the gardening store. Their arms were linked together as they walked around the same block over and over, too engrossed in one another’s company to notice that some people were staring. 

Eventually, the moon rose to hang high overhead and it was time to go. They climbed into Yunho’s car and drove home. Yunho had another CD playing—a soft rock song that sounded like perfect slow-dance music. Jaejoong suddenly really wanted to dance with Yunho, but that wasn’t really possible seeing as they were in a car. In his mind’s eye, he saw the two of them slow-dancing to their own music in some secluded spot under the moonlight, just like in a movie. Though right now, Jaejoong realized with a start, reality with Yunho, who was so warm and sweet and kept one hand intertwined with Jaejoong’s the whole ride home, was almost better than the movies. 

 

 

 

“Come on babe, it’s our stop.”

They dismounted the last bus of the evening and Changmin rubbed his eyes sleepily. The dark was still providing cover.

“You called me babe,” he giggled.

Yoochun chuckled and wrapped his arms around Changmin’s waist and brought their foreheads together. They could only see each other's outlines in the darkness, but they could feel each other’s warmth. It was enough—more than enough, it was so much.

“You become a new person at nighttime.”

Changmin shook his head. “Same person, just with less inhibitions.”

“Yeah, seems that way.” Yoochun trailed his fingers down the side of Changmin’s face. “Hey, Changmin-ah, I don’t mean to end our night on a serious note but I—” He trailed off.

“What is it?”

Knowing full well he’d never be able to talk like this were it daylight, Yoochun thanked the darkness for providing courage. “Changmin-ah, I don’t know what will happen to us after the summer ends. I don’t. But for now, at least, while I’m still here, I want to see where this goes. And, who knows, I know we’re young and haven’t known each other long but maybe…at the end of next month…if…if we’re willing…maybe we can try long-distance.”

Changmin didn’t respond. He couldn’t. He kissed Yoochun and hoped the message got through— _oh, Yoochun, the fact that you’re even thinking about it. You like me as much as I like you, don’t you?_

“Yeah,” Yoochun groaned. He seemed to get the message.

Changmin pulled back, grinning. “I’ll see you soon, Yoochun. Good night.” He waved and headed up the path to his house. Yoochun watched him go in, then walked back to his home for the summer in a daze. His lips wouldn’t stop tingling, and the stars above, dim though they were behind the city-sky clouds, were endlessly twinkling.

As soon as he got back in, he headed to his and Jaejoong’s room and texted Yoohwan everything, as promised. He knew he’d have to call him soon and explain it all more clearly, but just then he heard his Aunt Mina in the kitchen talking to his uncle and his mother. 

“Where is that boy? He’s supposed to have been back by now. And he’s not answering his phone.”

“Mina, darling, maybe he’s on his way. Let’s just wait another half hour. Our boy’s responsible.”

Mina snapped. “You said that a half hour ago! No, I’m going out to look for him, and if you don’t hear from me in an hour, call the police.”

Yoochun cursed. He had to do something. He grabbed his phone and rushed out into the living room. 

“Hey, Jaejoong just texted me! He’s at the bus stop. I’m going to go get him. Be back in fifteen minutes! We might stop at the convenience store, so maybe twenty-five.” And he strode out the door before they could ask him any questions.

 

 

 

They pulled up to Jaejoong’s street but stopped a few houses soon. 

“Oh, my house is the one down there.”

“I know.” Yunho said. He sounded nervous.

Jaejoong turned around to look at him. Every handsome bit of him. Brown hair that looked so soft to touch. Tan skin from hours spent under the sun playing soccer. Broad shoulders and a lean abdomen. A perfect, perfect man. 

“I had a really good time tonight, Jaejoong.” Yunho said. Like a line out of a movie.

“Me too, Yunho.”

“I’d like to go out again with you soon. I—” Yunho’s words got caught in his throat.

Jaejoong smiled and reached over to cup Yunho’s cheek in one hand. “You’re so sweet, Yunho. I’m looking forward to our next date.”

Before he could talk himself out of it, Yunho gripped the hand on his face and leaned in for a kiss. Jaejoong responded enthusiastically, kissing back and winding an arm around Yunho’s shoulders.

The nervous atmosphere dissolved instantly and soon they were giggling breathlessly again and their noses bumped and nudged as they continued to kiss. Yunho slid his hands down Jaejoong’s sides and gripped his hips tightly. Jaejoong moaned in response and then, in one swift and graceful movement, swung himself over so that he was straddling Yunho’s lap. 

Yunho looked up in amazement for a moment. Then he smiled devilishly, as though scandalized but pleasantly so, before Jaejoong grinned wickedly and dove back down for more kissing. Before either of them knew what they were doing Jaejoong was fumbling for Yunho’s belt and Yunho was moaning loudly into Jaejoong’s neck.

“Oh, Jaejoong, we—we’re right in front of your house.”

“Shit, aah, yeah—we should—ah—probably stop.”

But neither of them were stopping. The windows were starting to fog up from their efforts. It was tumbling out of control, Jaejoong almost had Yunho’s pants undone when there was a sharp knock on the window.

“Oh shit,” Jaejoong hissed. He moved back to his seat, fixed his hair, and Yunho re-did his belt buckle before innocently lowering the window. It was Yoochun.

“Oh, hi, Yoochun! Um, Jaejoong and I were hanging out and we were just saying good night—”

“What are you doing here?” Jaejoong asked accusingly.

Yoochun had the grace to blush and look at something in the distance when he saw the state the two of them were in (chests heaving, hair out of place and clothes crumpled). He cleared his throat.

“Listen, I don’t care what the two of you were up to, but Jaejoong has got to get back inside now. Auntie and Uncle are getting worried and I told them I knew you were at the bus stop and I’d go get you so they wouldn’t come out and find…this.”

Jaejoong looked up suddenly. Yoochun had covered for him? Then he looked at Yunho. An understanding passed between them and Jaejoong kissed his cheek before stepping out. 

“See you later, Jaejoong. Yoochun.” Yunho said.

“See you.”

“Bye, Yunho.”

As soon as he drove off, Yoochun turned to Jaejoong and looked at him with watery eyes.

“Jaejoong? I’m so sorry. I’m really, really, really sorry.” He was sobbing now. “I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to say those things I was such a dick to you and I didn’t mean to be and you’re like a brother to me now and I swear I just—I’m sorry.”

“Yoochun! Shh, stop crying, it’s okay! I forgive you!”

“You do? You really do? I threw out the cigarettes you know, I threw them away today. I don’t know if that means I’m going to quit or if it just means I’m going to buy another box but I was so mad at the way I acted today that I threw them.” He sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve.

Jaejoong looked at his cousin, stunned. “Wow, you did? Okay, I get it then, you’re really sorry. I’ve already forgiven you.” He hugged Yoochun tightly and let him cry it out.

“Come on, let’s go inside. I have a lot to tell you,” Jaejoong said.

“I do too. I kissed Changmin.” 

“WHAT?! YOU WHAT?!” Jaejoong slapped Yoochun’s arms repeatedly out of excitement.

“Ow.”

“OH MY GOD.”

“OKAY, yes I know! But you clearly did more than me tonight!”

“Oh, yeah, heh heh.” Jaejoong had a stupid grin on his face.

“Fix your clothes. It’s really obvious.”

Jaejoong smoothed out his shirt and made sure his pants were zipped and buttoned. He smoothed out his hair as much as he could.

“Okay, better.”

They entered to a house full of family eating ice cream and watching a movie. Jaejoong and Yoochun whispered “hello” and were ignored and shushed. They excused themselves to their room and while Yoochun showered, Jaejoong nicked a pint of ice cream and two spoons for just the two of them to share. Yoochun started on it while Jaejoong showered next, and called Yoohwan. 

_“I got your text. Congrats. Since when are you bi?”_

“Thanks, Rickster. Since forever, I guess, but I only really started becoming vaguely aware of it a couple of years ago, I think.”

_“How’d you know?”_

“I dunno, I guess I just noticed guys, too. You know, like, I’d check them out. Okay this is kind of embarrassing, but do you remember Chandler?”

_“One of the guys you hang out with sometimes? Skateboard, sandy blond hair?”_

“Yeah. I think I had a crush on him in my first year of high school. And maybe part of middle school too.”

Yoohwan whistled on the other end. _“How come you never dated guys? If you liked some of them.”_

“Are you serious? I wasn’t ready to come out. And I don’t know any queer people in my high school.”

_“I can’t believe you came out in Korea and not here.”_

“I’m still not out.”

_“You have a boyfriend.”_

Yoochun giggled. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

Jaejoong wandered back in, toweling his hair, and sat down next to Yoochun and started eating ice cream and flipping through a magazine. 

_“So, thanks for telling me everything. Do you think you guys are going to be…I dunno, serious?”_

“Hmm. Hard to say. It’s really early on. But Ricky…I think I really like him. I mean, he’s gorgeous. And so smart.” Yoochun sighed dreamily. And Jaejoong knew enough English to know what ‘really like’ and ‘gorgeous’ meant. 

_“Ugh, okay I get it now stop, you’re grossing me out. I’m not used to you being all…romantic.”_

“There is much you do not know about your brother, young one.”

_“Whatever. Don’t fall too deep and then forget about poor old me here in the states.”_

“Aww, Rick, you know I couldn’t. I’ll be back before you know it.”

_“I’ll be holding you to that. Good night, hyung.”_

“Night, Rickster.” Yoochun hung up and ate another spoonful of ice cream. It was strawberry flavor and it was creamy and delicious.

“Okay,” he said through a mouthful of frozen pink delight, “so tell me about Yunho!”

Jaejoong sighed deeply and lay back on the floor. He launched into the story and Yoochun listened attentively. Jaejoong went on and on about how Yunho was a perfect gentlemen, perfectly charming, spared no expense, and treated him so well. When it was over, Yoochun relayed back his evening with Changmin. He spared no details. Jaejoong looked at him with an odd expression, and at the end he said: “you seem deeper in than I am.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Uh, hello? The elegance of his cheekbones that no actress could rival, the silkiness of his black hair, his impish grins and sly words under the cover of night? I don’t know when you got so good at speaking Korean but you sound like a damn poet right now.”

“Oh.”

“’Oh’ is right. And by the way, I knew you were gay.”

“I’m not gay!”

“Okay, okay, bisexual. Still half gay.”

“Whatever. I like Changmin. A lot. He happens to be male.”

“And you really like that he’s taller than you and smells musky, not fruity or flowery, and is hard and muscular, not soft and squishy, and is tan, not white as a ghost, and—”

“Okay, OKAY! I get it! Yes, I like him and I like dick!”

Jaejoong dropped his ice cream spoon and his jaw, then burst out laughing. Yoochun tried to defend his crass declaration, but ended up laughing too. They laughed so hard they teared up and their stomachs hurt. The two cousins giggled and kept talking in whispers until they couldn’t keep their eyes open anymore and drifted off to sleep. All was well. 

 

 

 

When Yoochun stepped outside the following morning, his heart sank straight down into the pit of his stomach. The air was now late summer air. Growing up, Yoochun was always sensitive to the changing of the seasons, even the subtlest shifts, and he knew now that the season was beginning to shift toward late summer because the wind was now scorching hot instead of pleasantly hot, the bloomed flowers were beginning to wilt from the extended and excessive heat, and the air felt heavy with dust and sun, not light and clean like it does in early summer. However much he wished this summer would last, it would end. And the end was drawing nearer. 

He walked over to Changmin’s house and knocked on the door. A glassy-eyed girl answered the door. Changmin’s youngest sister.

“Hi there Jiyeon, is your brother home?”

The girl burst out crying and called for Changmin. Yoochun fretted over the girl and tried to calm her down, but it was no use. She sobbed horribly. 

“What’s wrong?” Changmin asked as he came into view.

“I-I’m sorry! I just asked if you were home and she…”

“Yoochun, I’m sorry, but now isn’t a good time for me to come outside. I should have texted you this morning before you came here, but it’s been very hectic since early in the morning. Please leave for now and I promise I’ll explain everything as soon as I can. Come on in, now, Jiyeon, shh, it’ll be okay…” Changmin wrapped his arms around his tiny sister and shot Yoochun an apologetic look before gently closing the front door.

Before Yoochun could even process what was going on, his phone buzzed with a message from Jaejoong.

_Please come to the store as soon as you can. I’m panicking and I need you right now._

Yoochun ran. 

 

 

“What’s wrong, Jaejoong? Are you okay?”

“Yoochun-ah…I think my parents know I went on a date with a boy last night.”

Yoochun felt the color drain from his face. “What? How?”

Jaejoong was pale and dazed-looking. “I don’t know,” he whispered. “Maybe someone they know saw me and told them? Maybe they knew you were covering for me, maybe they’ve had suspicions? I’m not ready, god I’m not ready to come out to them, Yoochun.”

“Okay, okay,” Yoochun murmured, sitting down next to his cousin. “Listen, just breathe, okay?” He hoped he sounded sure of himself, because he thought his voice was trembling. Yoochun had no idea what he was doing but it seemed like a good thing to tell someone who was freaking out.

“Mm-hmm.” Jaejoong took a deep breath.

“Okay, good. Keep doing that.” 

Jaejoong kept breathing and breathing, and he eventually calmed down slightly.

“I just…I always thought that when I told them, it would be on my terms.”

“Yeah.”

“Do your parents know?”

Yoochun laughed. “No. But, I think my mom might be somewhat okay with it. She’s already lost a lot so she doesn’t want to lose me or Yoohwan. But my dad…hah, he’d probably beat me half to death. Anyways, he’s not part of my life so I wouldn’t tell him something like that anyways.”

Jaejoong hummed to let Yoochun know he heard, but was too preoccupied by his own stressful thoughts and worries to sympathize right now.

“Hey, it’ll be okay. I’m here for you,” Yoochun said, and held out his hand. Jaejoong looked down at it, then back up at Yoochun’s smiling face, and took Yoochun’s hand in his. Yoochun squeezed it, and bumped playfully into Jaejoong’s shoulder.

“I know you are. You being here this summer wasn’t a coincidence. This is the time I needed a brother more than ever, and you’re here, now. Thank you.” Jaejoong gave his cousin a brief hug before he got up, dusted his apron off, and got back to work. 

 

 

 

Yoochun was on his way home when Changmin called. 

“Changmin, what’s up? Is everything…okay?” _Stupid question_ , Yoochun thought, _of course it’s not okay._

_“Hey, sorry about all that this morning. Uh, no, the situation has gotten worse, but I don’t feel like talking about it over the phone.”_

“Where do you want to meet?” Yoochun asked directly.

_“The park at the end of the next street over from mine and Jaejoong’s houses. And if it’s not too much trouble, please bring a couple bottles of ice-cold water.”_

“I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

“I want to see you so bad.” Changmin murmured.

“I do, too, babe. See you soon. Be safe.” Yoochun hung up and dashed to his next destination.

 

 

 

Yoochun spotted Changmin lying in the grass in the shady patch under four huge, leafy trees dotted with pink and white flowers. He had his cap over his face. There was no one else around because it was painfully hot out. Yoochun walked up to him and knelt by his side and gently touched his shoulder. 

“Changmin, I’m here.”

Changmin removed his cap and looked up with dark, doe’s eyes. “Oh,” he sighed, and pulled Yoochun into an embrace. 

“Here’s some water. You look dehydrated.”

“Thanks.” Changmin drank slowly so as to not make himself sick from the temperature contrast.

Yoochun waited silently, keeping his eyes on Changmin. 

“His condition’s worsened. He’s been admitted in the hospital. We woke up this morning to the worst coughing fit we’d ever heard and knew we had to rush him to the E.R. My mom’s not been taking it well. She’s lashing out at the three of us for any little thing. I was fine with her dealing with this situation in that way when she was just yelling at me, but I’m protective of my sisters, especially the little one. I don’t like seeing them cry.”

“I’m so sorry, Changmin.”

Changmin turned to face Yoochun. “Why is it that even when you know something bad is coming, it doesn’t make it any better when it actually happens?”

“I don’t know,” Yoochun whispered. “I wish I knew.”

Changmin closed his eyes and leaned forward to kiss Yoochun’s lips lightly. When he pulled back his eyes were still closed, but he smiled his first smile that day. He moved around in the grass and lay back down, resting his head in Yoochun’s lap. Yoochun smiled down at him and began stroking his hair. 

“You really like my hair, huh?”

“Love it.”

“Well that’s good, because it feels really nice when you mess with it like that.” 

Yoochun tapped Changmin’s nose affectionately and then continued his ministrations on his scalp.

“Tell me about what’s going on with you,” Changmin said. “I’ve had enough of my own drama for today.”

“Well…have you ever heard the saying that bad news comes in threes?”

“No. What does that mean?”

“Hm, maybe it’s an American thing. It means that if everything’s going well, something bad will happen. And that something bad will be three somethings. And it happened today. Yesterday was pretty much perfect. I got to spend time with you, kiss you, made up with Jaejoong after our fight, and talked to my brother while eating ice cream. Then, today, three bad things happened. I realized it’s now become late summer, so my return to the U.S. is approaching fast; Jaejoong almost had a panic attack, and your situation has worsened.”

“But my situation worsening can’t count as one of your three bad somethings. It happened to me, not you.”

Yoochun looked into Changmin’s eyes and stroked his cheek. “If something bad is happening to you it’s bad for me, too.”

Changmin swallowed. He got up slowly, not breaking eye contact with Yoochun. He clambered over him, knees on either side of Yoochun’s thighs, and kissed him softly. Yoochun’s eyes closed slowly and he fell backward onto the ground. Changmin fell onto him and the surrounding trees pink and white flower petals fell all around them in a flurry. They kissed and kissed and Yoochun’s hands roamed all across Changmin’s sweating back and grasped his perfect, silk-like black hair. Changmin moaned and broke away to lick at the sweat collecting on Yoochun’s neck and on his dangerously sharp collarbones that Changmin loved to touch.

“I didn’t think I could fall this fast.” Yoochun said against Changmin’s mouth.

“I didn’t think I’d ever fall like this.” Changmin replied.

“But I have.”

“But I did.”

“Changmin.”

“Yoochun.” 

_It’s too soon to say it but I think I love you._

They kissed and they kissed and they did not stop. Lovebugs buzzed around the trees from which more petals rode the air down to the ground, dotting Changmin’s long, fluttering eyelashes and hair. The sinking sun caressed the horizon and splashed the sky pink, orange, and lavender. It would cool down, soon. People would come out for their nightly neighborhood walks. They had to stop.

Somewhere along the way they had switched positions so Yoochun was straddling Changmin. He was leading their kisses, each as heated and scorching as those hot summer days, and was finding it impossible to stop. Changmin tasted like the season—like fruits, like sweetness and fragrance, and like freedom.

He felt the first breeze of evening and shivered. “We have to stop soon,” Changmin murmured.

“I know. I’m trying, but you’re so…” _So beautiful. So perfect. So worth the risk._

Eventually Yoochun found the strength to quell the beast inside and pull back. Changmin was a mess, but no more a mess than he would be had they been playing soccer with friends. He could use that to explain his appearance to his family, later. Save for the kiss-swollen lips, of course—he’d have to think up something else for that.

Slowly, they rose. The movement caused most of the petals that had stuck to their clothes to fall out, but several still clung on. Yoochun smiled kindly and began to pluck them out of Changmin’s hair and brush them off of his clothes. Changmin closed his eyes and let the feel of Yoochun’s hands roaming his body wash over him. When the hands stopped their gentle movements, Changmin opened his eyes and saw Yoochun looking at him intensely.

“I want to spend as much time with you as I can before I leave. I know it’s not going to be easy because of everything that’s going on, but I want to try.”

Changmin nodded. “I’d like that, too. There’s no point in denying you’re going to leave, no point avoiding that fact. We have to make do with what we have.”

In the distance, Yoochun spotted the first evening stroller coming out of her house. Their time was up. “You’re right,” he said. “Let’s go on another date Monday. And the day after that. Maybe not Sundays, because it’s the only days Jaejoong has off. And I need to spend time with the rest of my family, too, and they’re all home Saturdays.”

“That works out. Those the days my mom’s not at work and my sisters aren’t at summer cram school. I need to spend time with them, too.”

“Okay.”

“Daily weekday dates it is, then.” Changmin smiled. 

“Yes, indeed. Please show this ignorant American all of your favorite things about your city.”

Changmin laughed, exposing two rows of perfectly aligned white teeth and a significant amount of pink gums too. His eyes turned up into crescent shapes, one much smaller than the other. His shoulders shook as he laughed. Yoochun loved to see Changmin laughing. 

“Tomorrow’s Sunday. I’ll miss you,” Yoochun pouted.

“And I, you. Text me.”

“Of course I will.”

With a final, quick embrace, they left the park and headed to their homes. 

Halfway there, Yoochun met Jaejoong who was coming back from the bus stop. He jogged up to his cousin’s side and sighed with relief. He was afraid of what he might have to face when he would enter his home, but having Yoochun at his side helped.

Yoochun smiled when Jaejoong came to join him. His head was hurting a bit from being out in the sun all day, even if he had spent most of it in shade. It was just too hot.

They walked in silence to the house. Jaejoong pulled his house key out of his pocket, and inserted it into the keyhole. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door.

Yoochun’s mother, grandparents, and aunt and uncle were all sitting around the table, stony-faced. When they saw Jaejoong enter, they looked at him gravely. Aunt Mina opened her mouth to say something. But before she could, a loud thud echoed throughout the house as Yoochun suddenly fell to the ground, unconscious.

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: HELLO! i've been working on this fic for a while and it's the longest thing i've ever written. there will be several chapters, but i'm not sure how many. anyways, i hope you enjoy~ if you did, PLEASE leave a comment! they encourage me and make me feel that the hours of writing are not hours wasted!
> 
> and to my yoomin tlist.....this is dedicated to you all ♥ merry christmas ♥


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